By Ashley Mussbacher (The Cascade) – Email
Print Edition: June 4, 2014
“What did you get on the exam?”
It’s a pretty common question among friends, and seems like just the thing to say right after the professor has handed back a midterm. But throughout my university career (and it feels like a career, because I’ve been here way too long) this question has become a source of extreme anxiety for me.
I used to be one of those nerdy, straight-A know-it-alls in school, and took pride in my high marks (rightfully so). I used to intentionally leave my paper open on my desk, marked-side up, so anyone passing could see I’d received an A.
It wasn’t until I reached university that I realized how my actions might have affected the students around me, especially those who received a lower grade. It’s not that I’d suddenly matured as soon as I paid my first semester’s tuition; rather I sympathized with my past high school classmates because for once I was the one on the low-end of the grade stick.
As I stared down at the red-stained midterm, I remember trying to tally the marks in my head without accidentally flashing my grade to nearby students. It was at that moment a classmate who sat next to me leaned over in her seat and asked the question.
“What did you get on the exam?”
I was horrified. Did I answer her honestly and admit my failure, or should I lie?
There was a group of students in the row ahead of us who were exchanging their grades, and another student silently placed her exam face-up on her desk next to me (something I used to do). The teacher’s announcement of the exam average of the class felt like a sucker-punch to the stomach. I quietly slipped my midterm into my bag and tried to act unfazed.
Since then I’ve wondered: is the exchange of grades merely to stir competition among students?
If you’ve studied hard and long for an exam, it doesn’t always reflect in your score (and it feels like shit when it doesn’t). Studying math was one of those subjects for me. I could plan a study strategy and put in as many hours as I could, but I would still get back a less-than-satisfying grade. Meanwhile, I would listen to how some of my classmates crammed the night before or didn’t study at all and still managed to pull a high mark.
So, why does my classmate care about my score? This question pops into my mind almost as soon as their question is uttered. Are they looking for competition outside themselves? Did they want to see if I scored lower than they did so they could rectify some insecurity? Or is it merely a habit from grade school, like when Canadians apologize for everything — it’s just something you do?
I suppose if your grade is part of your identity, like it was once for me, then the question becomes more complex. The response can either justify your vision of yourself as an intelligent individual, or crush you and make you feel like you ought to drop the class (believe me, it can get that dramatic).
So next time you go to ask your neighbour what they got on that last exam, take a moment to consider how they might feel about the question, and why in the world you care about their mark.
