By Ethel Cull (Contributor) – Email
Print Edition: November 5, 2014
A missing 22-year-old in New York was reported found Monday, October 13, after neighbours claim the person was seen running into the woods.
A neighbour said she heard shouting late that night; a heated conversation which sounded like a break-up.
“I heard a female voice half yelling and half singing, ‘We are never, ever, ever, getting back together!’ When I went outside to see what all the commotion was about I saw a man leave her house. He looked like that cowboy from that famous movie about them male lovers,” the elderly neighbor claimed. “Maybe that’s why she ditched him?”
Several other bystanders claimed they witnessed what looked like a distraught artist flee her home with a guitar strapped to her back and a tube of red lipstick in hand.
Five hours later, a groundskeeper of Central Park, Lonnie Mower, claimed he heard someone singing, “Are we outta the woods yet, are we outta the woods yet, are we outta the woods yet, are we outta the woods?” When he called out to the voice to inform the source she was not in a forest but rather in Central Park, the voice responded, “Are we in the clear yet, are we in the clear yet, are we in the clear yet, in the clear yet? Good!” Mower, who was in fact standing in the Conservatory Garden (a six-acre garden within Central Park, often referred to as “the clear”) was taken aback by this response as there was no one else around.
“I’m severely worried for this person…” Mower said. “They may be suffering from palilalia!”
When search-and-rescue workers questioned the legendary Bob Dylan, who was busking at the north end of the park, he seemed defensive: “It ain’t me babe…” However, Dylan’s defence was mumbled and difficult to understand.
When rescue workers finally found the missing person at the south end of the park, they said she seemed to be in an unstable mental state. She kept pointing to the trees and calling them “monsters.” The search and rescue workers attempted to calm the person down by telling her to shake it off and perhaps take a break from dating.
The neurologist who conducted an assessment after this traumatic event reported the cause of the derangement was due to the fact that she had clearly stayed up too late that night. Further MRI scans were conducted to confirm she “had nothing in her brain” were in fact false.
