When searching for synonyms for “woman,” the Oxford dictionary offers the endearing and regional options of dame, chick, or lass. Perusing further though reveals the less kind synonyms of bitch, frail, and wench. When the same thesaurus to search for the word “man,” there are no similar negative descriptors to be found.
While I don’t mean to accuse the Oxford dictionary of being derogatory towards women — it could very well be that they want to reflect historical accuracy — it’s undeniable that words and their connotations hold power. How do we define femininity in a modern age where gender roles are less restrictive, where females are politically influencing their countries and are often the breadwinners for their families? And what synonyms should be used instead to reflect that?
I’ve often asked myself whether gender roles are useful or regressive. Anyone toting that women are defined only by being dainty and submissive is a misogynist, but at the same time if we don’t have characteristics to define femininity wouldn’t the concept be an amorphous, genderless blob? While that option sounds appealing when men feel entitled to catcall you out of car windows, I do agree that gender roles of some sort are useful. I just think they need to be more vague and more encompassing of wider diversity of ladies, not a set of boxes a woman needs to be able to check off.
Something to be noted is that my experience as a cisgendered woman will heavily influence my opinion, and I’d especially love to hear the thoughts of a trans woman on what femininity means to them. Trans women can be pressured to conform to a very rigid definition of femininity by the rest of society. For them there’s often a standard of “woman” to achieve to be gendered correctly in public spaces, whereas cis women have the privilege of defying gender roles without having their womanhood questioned.
Women, to me, are wild in nature. Historically, we have always defied gender roles that attempt to define us, and our sexuality has long incited fear in the opposite sex. The archetype of the witch embodies this mysterious quality of the female energy, one that is frightening but revered. There’s also a resilient and hard-working nature I’ve witnessed time and time again, especially in entry-level jobs where I’ve seen women work themselves to the bone to provide for their families. Then there’s an accompanying selflessness; too many ladies I know give their time, energy, and emotional labour to others without expecting anything in return. While I find the stereotype demeaning that females are sensitive or overly emotional, I do believe they’re more in touch with emotions in general. Women have a killer intuition, for example, that often gets stomped out by logic or outside opinion.
Truth be told though, I think the task is too large to try and sum up “woman” in a list of synonyms. Gender is a spectrum of masculine and feminine energy (although even that depends on the culture in question), and not all people are going to find themselves at one end. The media, for instance, loves to showcase — and sexualize — the “boss” archetype that’s a mix of both masculine and feminine ideals: a lady who’s confident, in charge, and isn’t afraid to get a little dirty. She’s the one who’ll get the job done but has a nurturing, soft side for the lucky man who takes her home.
So, the question remains: what is “woman”? Men have been trying to make up their minds for millenia, but I think a key point is that you’ll never capture her essence with offensive synonyms like wench, frail, or bitch. Even words like resilient, intuitive, or wild only offer part of the picture. I think you’ve found her when you look down at your dips, curves, and bulges and hug yourself close, accepting every inch. I think you’ve found her when you surround yourself with loved ones that make the cold nights feel full and warm. I even think you’ve found her when she smacks the last Oreo out of your hand, claiming it for herself. Don’t trust the Oxford dictionary to tell you synonyms to describe her, go and experience her for yourself.
Illustration: Kate Hine
Chandy is a biology major/chemistry minor who's been a staff writer, Arts editor, and Managing Editor at The Cascade. She began writing in elementary school when she produced Tamagotchi fanfiction to show her peers at school -- she now lives in fear that this may have been her creative peak.
