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Dear Robin: summer slumpin’ & biting and chewing

This article was published on May 5, 2021 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.

Life is tough and confusing and weird. We all need help sometimes, and when you need an expert opinion, you turn to an expert opinion-giver like Robin Halper. Whatever problem you’re facing in life, Robin will have a solution. The Cascade cannot guarantee the effectiveness of Robin’s unique approach to life, but if you’re in a jam, get some advice by writing to halp@ufvcascade.ca

Summer slumpin’
Dear Robin,

I applied for a bunch of summer internships and jobs that would be good for my resume but didn’t get any of them. I’m totally lost on what to do this summer. Any ideas?

Sincerely,
Utterly unemployed

Hello,

When students need summer work, restaurants are usually our saving grace because when the sun shines, patios open and restaurants can host many more customers. But as we know that’s not the case right now. With only patios open, many establishments are cutting back their staff’s hours, rather than hiring more. So check out the water slides at Cultus for jobs or landscaping work. If none of those pan out, try brewing your own kombucha and selling it in the Highstreet parking lot, or starting an account on OnlyFans. 

Robin

Biting and chewing
Dear Robin,

I’ve been chewing my nails all my life. I seriously can’t stop. Not only does biting my nails cause me physical pain, but it’s legitimately nasty and I need to finally quit. How do I stop?

Sincerely,
Mr. Unmanicured

Hello,

An old issue of my father’s Reader’s Digest subscription that I discovered in his basement tells me that you should try and quit cold turkey for just seven days. By seven days you’ll see a little bit of nail growing and see how far you can go, but if you want, chew those babies off to the nail bed after seven days. You’ll be reminded of the pain and shame that comes with screwing up: great tools to promote change. Then do it all over again until you get it in your head to stop.

Robin

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