Print Edition: November 6, 2013
Sex is predominantly a very intimate and private act. But what happens when your private time is interrupted by an accidental intruder? Although some may get extra turned on by the possibility of someone walking in mid-coitus, this is still a valid fear for many of us. This has happened to more than a few of us, I’m sure.
Some of us may be able to relate to the stereotypical “caught in the act” stories of getting busy in your room and then mom walks in, or breaking in the back seat of your car and getting the dreaded “flashlight tap” on the window. Recently, I was told a “caught in the act” story that will forever put these to shame.
It started out fairly ordinary: girl walks into a bar, meets a young dark-haired beauty and buys her a drink. Both girls know exactly what they wanted from each other and are not shy to take it. The raven-haired temptress leads my friend—let’s call her Carrie, as she reminds me of Sarah Jessica Parker’s character in Sex and the City—back to her place.
Carrie pulls up to Raven-hair’s house in a ritzier area in Abbotsford and is impressed by her postal code and living situation. As she clasps hands with this mysterious creature and follows her through the front door and up the velvety stairs, all she can think was, “Wow, this girl has her shit together!”
But once she reaches the top of the stairs, that all changes. Raven-hair’s index finger comes up abruptly and signals with an audible “shhhh” that it’s time to be quiet because her “parents are sleeping.”
Carrie follows Raven-hair to her bedroom, incredulous. She observes the ridiculous proximity of Raven-hair’s bedroom to her parents’. Four feet, maybe, between the two doors. Carrie considers the impending situation and decides she simply doesn’t have the willpower to turn this painfully beautiful girl down and leave, although it’s clearly the best choice at this point. Once Carrie makes the decision to stay, though, she is all in. She pins Raven-hair against the wall and kisses her, tearing at her white knit shirt.
Carrie leads them to the bed, which was a twin with a Hannah Montana poster above it. “How old was this girl?” Carrie asks herself (although retelling the tale later she adds, “I knew she was at least 19 ‘cause she was in a club.”)
She decides it’s best to avoid eye contact with Miley and focus on the lovely creature before her. She gets down to business and works diligently at making this a night to remember.
Occasionally she has to cover Raven’s mouth so she wouldn’t wake the parents.
She eventuallydecides it’s time for some hardware, and digs out her strap-on from her bag. (Carrie would be the first to tell you she never leaves home without it.)
She’s five minutes into her groove when the door flies open.
There stood Dad, mouth agape.
The poor guy stares at a disturbing scene: his baby girl bent over with a strap-on deep insider her and a spiky-haired, tattooed, heavily pierced girl on the other end. The fact that Carrie has a handful of Raven’s luxurious hair wrapped around her wrist doesn’t help the situation.
Dad stumbles back.
I never asked Carrie if Mom and Dad knew their little girl was gay, but it couldn’t have been an easy thing to walk into either way. He walks back into his room and slamms the door and Carrie wastes no time getting out of there. She kissed her accomplice on the forehead, threw her cock back in her bag and ran down the stairs, dressing in the process.
Carrie never got Raven’s number. Perhaps this is a good thing because knowing Carrie, she would definitely go back for more. Insane adventures follow her – and unfortunately, so do insane girls.
Getting caught, or the risk of being caught, can be exhilarating, but it has an effect on the poor unsuspecting person that has the bad timing to witness something so private. It may even scar them for life, as I’m sure was the case for Raven’s dad. Maybe taking the time to lock the door, or perhaps planning ahead, will keep you from creating your own embarrassing tale… But if it’s already happened, come tell me about it!