OpinionDoor Shaming

Door Shaming

This article was published on May 3, 2017 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.
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Look, I’m stoked you got the evening off so you can relive the soundtracks of your teenage years and eat overpriced concession food — I am genuinely happy. But how about you do me a favour and get through the gate without causing me to have to curse you and the circumstances that raised you.

First of all, don’t stand so close. Back the fuck up, it’s crowded and you smell. Don’t keep your tickets on your phone. Your screen is going to be too dark or too cracked for me to scan the QR code, and that’s assuming you even end up finding it in your email folder that you didn’t check until right now. If you’re going to insist on this (good luck getting back onto the GA floor if your phone dies and everyone’s tickets are on one person’s phone) at least take a damn screenshot of the code.

If you knew better, you would have printed off the tickets and handed one to each person in your party as they got through security. Just don’t rip them out of my hands like an asshole and give me papercuts.

Enjoy the show.

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