Culture

Respect boundaries first, book strippers later when planning bachelorette party

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By Nadia Pumpkin* (Contributor) – Email

Print Edition: May 6, 2015

Planning a bachelorette? Stick to some basic rules of etiquette for a happy bride-to-be.

For friends of the bride-to-be, prenuptial festivities are nearly always going to be the highlight of a wedding. While the clichés of wild parties and penis-themed paraphernalia are well-known, party-planning etiquette may be more difficult to pin down. Who plans? Who pays? Who tracks down the sippy dicks, penis-shaped cake tins, and other pecker novelties? Most importantly, where is the line between good fun and plain sordidness?

Typically, a few good friends of the bride will plan the prenuptial party. In the beginning stages of planning, you should gauge the character of your bride or groom and cater to their preferences. This party is all about her, and should by no means make her uncomfortable. If she is a little more reserved, consider cutting back on the typical sex theme. Instead of gifting the traditional lingerie or sex toys, buy something a little more suitable to her personality. Scented candles, bath bubbles, and massage oils can be sexy in a subtler way. If your party is on a tight budget — remember too that traditionally the group covers all the costs of the bride — pool your money towards an activity that you can enjoy together, be it shots at a club or a weekend away.

Planning the typical night of dancing and heavy drinking? It’s the job of the party planner to lay down some ground rules. First off, the night is about the bride-to-be. If she wants curly fries at 2 a.m., her wish is your command. Secondly, stay away from live-tweeting. All pictures should be approved by the other group members before posting. It’s important to have a sober person — ideally, a few sober people — present to keep an eye on the bride-to-be and the rest of the group.

Not into the clubbing scene? If you are considering something a little less conventional, remember that you are by no means limited to the clichés. Any activity that the bride would enjoy is fair game. Go on a wine tour together, go paintballing, take a pottery class, or have high tea. You can look to other cultures for inspiration. In Germany, the bride is dressed up in a silly costume and must walk the streets with her party, selling items in order to buy drinks later that night. In the UK, a very dignified butler might serve you tea, dressed in a collar and cuffs and nothing more.

While planning it’s important to remember that, despite the blow-up dolls and strippers, the bride is not single and free to mingle. Don’t plan anything that the bride’s future groom or bride would find upsetting. The sex themes can be playful, but should respect her commitment. Remember: you are by no means confined to a penis-themed party! Be creative, respect boundaries, and have fun!

*This is an alias.

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