OpinionReturn of Mark: the unending

Return of Mark: the unending

This article was published on September 26, 2018 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.
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For all those who have not been following the saga of Mark, Mark is a spider who lives under my toaster and comes out only to sit on my delicious sandwiches. Mark made his first appearance in a while the other day after I brought out my brand spankin’ new panini press. It is beautiful and shiny and everything a sandwich-toasting, cheese-melting metal monstrosity should be.

I was chopping up peppers, basking in the brilliance of my purchase when he struck. Out from the bowels of my crusty toaster, Mark sauntered like an old Western cowboy, made his way to the top of my cheese pile, and plopped himself down to watch the sunset. I screamed in panic and tossed my nearest cat onto the counter. My cat, quite pleased to be allowed on the counter, went in for a nibble of cheese. Seeing Mark, the cat, as cats do, reacted with sheer panic, tossing zucchini slices left and right as she scrambled to escape the withering glare of a nickel-sized spider. By the time emergency crews were called, Mark had already escaped the scene of the crime, but he’ll be back. He always is.

 

Image: Caleb Campbell/The Cascade

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