Print Edition: July 4, 2014
Faced with sticky summer weather, the last thing anyone wants to do is get hot and heavy in between the covers. A little sweat can be a hot addition to sex, but buckets of the stuff tend to drown out any attractive attributes. But luckily for the sexually active everywhere, the arrival of summer and a lack of air conditioning doesn’t have to mean an end to our favourite skin-on-skin activities. If it feels too damn hot for sex, the simplest solution is to transform the down and dirty into the quick and clean: hop in the shower.
As with everything, there are a few pointers to keep in mind with shower sex.
The condom and lube run-down
The first and most important thing to note is that condoms are more likely to break when you use them in water. If you plan to chance it, it’s more important than ever that you both get tested for STIs first and back yourselves up with another form of birth control.
As for lube, you’ll want a tube of silicon-based stuff rather than water-based, to make sure it sticks around long enough to be useful.
If you don’t want to swim through the hassle of making sure condoms and lube are close to hand, remember that the shower is also a great place to just fool around. With all that scrubbing and slippery soap, it’s only natural that hands wander to a variety of tender spots — you might find that hands and mouths are more than enough for your shared shower.
If you are bent on having fully fledged intercoursal action, there are a couple of ways to get the best bang for your bucking. If you have a shower stall with built-in handrails, use it to your full advantage; any leverage is good leverage.
The easiest (and arguably best) position is with one partner to bend forward, bracing against the shower wall with their partner penetrating from behind. This will work with varying degrees of success depending on the height difference between you and your partner; play with angles and the depth of knee bends to find a combination that works for you. As with any other location, experiment.
Finally, a safety precaution: double-check that you have some sort of anti-slip mat in place, because slipping and falling shouldn’t be on your shower sex menu.
Don’t get hot-headed
Make sure you don’t overload your body; if the water is hot and you’re standing directly under the shower head while your partner, ahem, attends to you, you stand a higher risk of getting light-headed or (worst-case scenario) fainting. This effect will be compounded if you’re low on sleep, haven’t eaten recently, or have been drinking.
Everybody’s body will react differently, so keep an eye out and know to spot the difference between “this feels really good” tingling and “I’m about to pass out because I’ve overstimulated my body” tingling. Take turns under the shower head and step out if you feel like getting hotter and/or heavier in a different direction.
Showering with your partner is always, always nice. Someone else scrubbing that hard-to-reach spot in the middle of your back and giving you a scalp massage? It’s the best bathroom addition for bodily goodness since the invention of the removable shower head.
On the other hand, always being in the mood to shower together and always being in the mood for shower sex are completely different things. Example: if you’re trying to have a quick shower before work in the morning, taking your partner into the tub with you is an easy path to tardiness.
There are also times when all you want is a shower, a whole shower, and nothing but a shower, so help you god. Maybe you’re tired after work, or have just woken up, or are awfully hungover. Depending on the state of your partner’s libido, it might be easier on you both to leave them in a different room while you clean yourself. If they’re rarin’ to go and you’re rarin’ for a nap, you’re going to have a bad time. Try for showering purely for the sake of shower sex, or hitting the tub in the middle of the afternoon when you’re both (you can only hope) at peak wakefulness.
Try a facial
The shower is an excellent place to try something new, and that something is not worrying about cleaning up afterwards. What’s the worst that can happen? You’re already in the shower!
This can go in one of two directions. We’ll start with edible spreadables: think chocolate, Nutella or whipped cream. If you want to try fooling around with taste as well as touch, spend some time outside of the shower while things get steamy on multiple levels — you and your partner kick up the sexy by licking deliciousness off each other while the shower gets hot and provides a bit of a sauna atmosphere at the same time. Turn down the temperature when you’re ready to step in and wash off, and everything else is already laid out for you. No muss, no fuss, and plenty of sexy. Try ice cream bars for a delicious temperature juxtaposition to get your heart racing.
In the other direction, the shower is a good place to experiment with facials — and I don’t mean an avocado/shea butter blend to improve your complexion. If your partner has a penis, there is a possibility he fantasizes about coming on your body and/or face. It might sound gross, but if you’re ever willing to try it, the shower is the place to start. The process is pretty simple; it will work best if you kneel in front of him, with the shower pointed at his back, as you work with hands and/or mouth to get him going. As he approaches the point of no return, you’ll want to make sure your hair is at least mostly out of the way and your eyes are closed. After that, use soap and water to get it off your skin right away; any forgotten patches will dry in a crusty, snot-like layer. It gives a whole new meaning to “egg on your face.”
Finally, even if you’re not that interested in getting it on in the tub, the shower is a good place to cool down and clean up together before doing the dirty elsewhere. Sex feels mighty good when clean skin meets clean skin, no matter where it is, and you only have an hour or so to take advantage of that mutual just-washed feeling before it wears off. Wash off, duck into bed for a bounce or two, and pop right back into the shower to wash off again. It’s a fool-proof system for even the stickiest summer, so don’t be afraid to use your shower in all the ways the manufacturer intended.