OpinionSleep Wars: Brain Strikes Back

Sleep Wars: Brain Strikes Back

This article was published on October 13, 2016 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.
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Not so long ago in a bed no so far away …

Me: “Okay it’s 12 o’clock, time to go to bed. Important day tomorrow.” *Lays down* Brain: “Psst! Let’s talk about every stupid thing you ever did in your life.”

Does this sound familiar? Surely we all can recall that one night when we really needed to get our eight hours of blissful rest. Yet that very same organ that makes us human decided it would be a much better time to be scared, contemplate over stupid things, and feel stressed about not sleeping.

Brain: “How big is Kilimanjaro?” Me: “Quiet!” Brain: “How do microwaves work?”

Me: “Lalala I can’t hear you.” Brain: “Ok, now let’s feel bad about that one time you spilled hot coffee all over that guy back in 2015.”

Then when morning comes and you drag yourself out of bed, the grey matter is silent. It should help you get through the day without feeling like a zombie. But no, you’re on your own. It’s like it acts entirely of its own free will. Consider this a message of appreciation for the brains which work when they should let us sleep, and play dead when we need them most. Thanks guys!

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