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Snapshots: #thedress, amorality, hiding spots, and car lights

Curtailed commentary on current conditions: #thedress, amorality, hiding spots, and car lights.

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Print Edition: March 4, 2015

Image: Eugene Kulaga

Image: Eugene Kulaga

Net neutrality versus #thedress

In past months, a battle has been waged against the corporatization of the internet. Big internet companies have been spending millions of dollars lobbying for something called “internet slow lanes.” This will basically allow them to charge customers more money to use the internet and even control what sites users can access. But on Thursday, the Federal Communications Commission confirmed that they will stop internet service companies from purchasing fast lanes, cementing a policy that will ensure the internet remains equal and open for all.

However, rather than celebrate its liberation last Thursday, the internet exploded into controversy over the ambiguous colour of a blue and black (or gold and white, whatever) dress. How characteristic of the internet: a six-month battle to keep it open and free succeeds, and we find its users blissfully ignorant, debating the pointless and staring at cat videos.

MITCH HUTTEMA

stealing-shit---opinion

Image: Anthony Biondi

An amoral world

One thing that really bugs me about the world today is the lack of morals that people seem to have. I’m not claiming to be perfect, because I know for sure that I am not, but certain morals should come naturally. Like lying: the little white lies told by everyone can be harmless in small doses, but can cause huge issues when they snowball.

There’s also theft. Theft really bugs me because people work so hard for the things that they have. As students, textbooks and laptops are our lives — in fact, our grades (and futures) live within these possessions. And when they are stolen, well … There goes our hard work, money, and extra time studying as we try to recreate what we lost.

It all comes down to honesty and motivation. Honesty and motivation will get you far in life, and when those two things are constant the world will be a better place.

JASMIN SPRANGERS

Image: Sultan Jum

Image: Sultan Jum

Hidden in the trees

At the south side of the Abbotsford campus, nestled into the large, towering evergreens, sits a sizeable open space. It’s fairly simple to get to — just walk across the ring road near where the gym and student union building meet. This is my favourite spot on campus. It’s intimate, yet accessible, and not affected by the noise of the university. But nobody ever really uses it, which is shocking. Sure, right now it’s a little damp out and picnicing or lying on the grass to read doesn’t seem too appealing at this time of year, but even in the summer it’s not really used. This is a great spot, and I just want students to use it for cool and interesting purposes. Forget the Green — let’s have concerts in this forgotten and intimate location in the trees.

JOE JOHNSON

Image: Anthony Biondi

Image: Anthony Biondi

Did you leave your lights on?

Hello, excuse me, and thank you for the opportunity to speak tonight in the Snapchat application of your newspaper. Today I saw an autotruck with the lights on at the Park and Ride on McCallum. I was roaming the roundabout, looking for raccoons to sauté, when I had noticed a light coming from the parking stall I take residence in. I thought it was a fire, made by some other ex-resident of the Target I had once lived in, but as I approached I saw it was just an autotruck with its lights left on. Whoever you are: I hope you get this Snapchat before your battery dies.

But thank you for leaving the autotruck there, as I slept under it and it made a nice blanket from the rain. I have hidden a gift of raccoon behind the stall for you.

*Nina is not a real person, despite her insistence to the contrary.

NINA DE L’APARCAIENTA*

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