Full disclaimer: I have never played Minecraft in my life. To be honest, I don’t even know the premise of the game. This left me pretty lost and feeling very out of the loop. My brother nearly leapt out of his seat when he saw the chicken jockey — a character that sparked a viral trend on TikTok, leading to apparent property damage, safety concerns, and disruption in some theatres. To the fans, I could tell there were a lot of well appreciated game references, and imagine my surprise when every kid in the theatre quoted “I am Steve” in unison to the movie. I could tell this film was the highlight of the year for many of them. But as an adult, it was a total flop. Not only did the jokes not land, they fell flat on their face. This was not the Jack Black of School of Rock (2003) — someone please tell him to stop singing.
The plot was a mess. The two main female characters were so sidelined you could easily forget they even existed. Was this supposed to be a heartfelt bonding opportunity for a brother and sister? You certainly wouldn’t know it. Was this a coming of age film for two late 40-year-old men? Quite possibly. But why? Last I checked, this game was not for late 40-year-olds.
There were a few interesting and creative moments, I enjoyed the aspects of building and creating (I need a tot launcher in my life). When I whispered to my brother next to me if what I was seeing on screen was actually how building works in the game, he whispered back “sort of.” So, I don’t really know what that meant. Either way, half-heartedly mashing a bunch of crap together to try and make something kind of cool was pretty representative of the film itself. The all-star cast definitely made sense given the cult-like following Minecraft has, and I will never be unhappy with a Jennifer Coolidge appearance and Matt Berry cameo (even though their storyline was completely unrelated to the film and barely even ended).
Given that the last kids movie I saw in theatres was The Angry Birds Movie (2016) this was comparatively a masterpiece. But something happened to kids movies; why aren’t they adult friendly anymore? Besides the really uncomfortable sexual innuendo between Steve (Jack Black) and Garrett (Jason Momoa), there were no easter eggs for adults. It was vastly unlike The Lego Movie (2014) or Shrek (2001) — where the characters are actually dynamic and likeable, and the jokes slap even for adults. And on another note, what’s with the sudden pop culture 80s trend I’ve been seeing in the last few years? I didn’t understand what year the movie was supposed to be set in. Minecraft is a modern game that I guess sort of looks like an 1980’s 8-bit game such as Tetris, but most of these kids don’t even know what that is. The choice to go with an 80s aesthetic felt a lot like riding the coat-tails of current pop culture trends — which felt like a cheap way to grab viewers’ attention.
Long story short, there were a lot of questions whispered to my brother in the theatre, and while I struggled to pay attention to the messy plot line, he was thrilled at the end of it. As we walked out of the sticky, sugar-coated theatre (sorry, theatre staff) he gave it a roaring 10 out of 10, which, at the end of the day, is really all that matters.
Darien Johnsen is a UFV alumni who obtained her Bachelor of Arts degree with double extended minors in Global Development Studies and Sociology in 2020. She started writing for The Cascade in 2018, taking on the role of features editor shortly after. She’s passionate about justice, sustainable development, and education.
