Another school year is about to begin, and autumn is just around the corner; September will bring with it all the things that have come to feel like tradition. Shorter, cooler days, pumpkin flavored things, existential dread… it’s enough to make an anxious undergrad on year seventeen of her four year program sentimental. I can tell that time does indeed continue to pass because my algorithm across TikTok and Instagram are pumping self-improvement content into my feeds like it’s going out of style: ADHD cures! Time management solutions! Get organized for back-to-school! Join an accountability group, download a meditation app, find out your personality type, and fix your procrastination problems!
As a recovering perfectionist who survived the “perfect 6:00 a.m. morning routine” heyday on 2014 YouTube, it’s all got me thinking a lot about my own goals for this upcoming year and how deeply my perspective has changed as a result of some pretty life-changing and real challenges that I have faced since my first semester. I have a feeling that many of us are in the same boat, because let’s face it, the last few years have been a rough time to be a young adult trying to find their way in the world. In the words of the great poet and philosopher Olivia Rodrigo… God, it’s brutal out here. So in case you’re struggling, I wanted to share some of my advice.
To my fellow students who anxiously wait for the start of fall classes as a “new semester, new you” type fresh start; to those who have visions of grandeur about the new day planner/bullet journal/ancient Egyptian sundial you have purchased and how it will finally help you get your shit together and transform you into the type-A, straight-A student of your aspirations; to those of you who are panicking because you’re not sure about your major anymore or you failed a class or you feel like you’re falling behind where you should be, take a deep breath… and lower your standards.
I don’t mean this in a nihilistic or cynical way. Ambition and passion are great, and having goals and trying to better yourself is a noble thing. But there is a saying that I have made my mantra after years of membership at the church of never-ending “self-improvement;” don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.
I think this is an especially important piece of advice for students, as so many of us are at a point in our lives where decisions that feel overwhelming intersect with a lack of life experience to give us context. The idea that every choice defines us and every deviation from our ideals is a moral failing leads only to a cycle of shame that ties our performances to our self worth.
I could go on about how a lifetime of comparing our lives on social media has made self conscious perfectionists out of many of us, or about how capitalism has convinced us that if we aren’t functioning at maximum productivity every waking moment then there is something wrong that a podcast, book, or micro-dosing mushrooms will surely fix. But what matters is how we take care of ourselves in this world that is so hostile to those of us who are simply trying to be.
Lower your standards. Be okay with the ups and downs — that day planner is likely doomed to sit blank on your desk after the first fews weeks, and chances are you will find yourself procrastinating once again at some point this semester. That is fine. It isn’t the mistakes we make that hurt us, it’s the shame spiral that comes with telling ourselves that mistakes are unacceptable. So I hope you’ll join me in setting a gentler, kinder tone for yourself as we all head back to the grind this month — go easy on yourself, and when in doubt practice these invaluable words of affirmation: “good enough.”
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