Satire – ABE soon to be more expensive: victory for UFV

From the beginning, I opposed the provincial government’s 2005 policy prohibiting universities from charging tuition for ABE, or “Adult Baby Education.”

Beloved Cascade reporter let go after CSIS arrest

Repp Porter, long-time news reporter for The Cascade, was let go Tuesday evening after CSIS officers arrested him in his Abbotsford home. Porter’s elderly neighbour Eve Draup witnessed the arrest, reporting that the officers claimed they were arresting him for “incitement of terrorism, maybe.”

UFV cuts waitlists, waits for praise

In lieu of a recent survey conducted by the Department for University Happiness (DUH), UFV has done away with its waitlists.

Election results unsurprising as Trudeau takes majority and the hearts of...

“As I recall it,” begins campaign volunteer Maurice Blanchot, “it was a time of crisis. We knew Justin was great, but we weren’t everyone. We sat in a room on a hot summer evening and saw the next few months flash by: us, staring at a computer screen, powerless, with a three-way tie. Luckily, Justin was there.”

New campus restaurant is as meaningless as existence itself

By Francois Levoid (The Kafkade) – Email UFV’s new campus restaurant opened today. Or yesterday maybe, I don’t know. It doesn’t mean anything. Maybe it was yesterday. Regardless,...

A humble response to Repp Porter’s journalistic incompetence

The Cascade is not my favourite paper, but it’s my favourite paper to write for.

Nestle saves British Columbia in unprecedented act of corporate heroism

BC had already spent over 80 per cent of its wildfire budget and things were looking grim.

Satire: Complaints related to rotting innards, study finds

Christmas music is linked to the gradual rise of bowel deterioration in North America, according to a new study by the Deteriorating Entrails and Bowels Technical Society (DEBTS).

Students, please don’t vote

It’s no secret that college kids are passionate about their future. But what about the future of real adults, who actually contribute to this society that students want so badly to change?

Cup Noodles and the true, devastating price of convenience

"Cup Noodles are a beautiful thing. We can add some hot water to this thing in a styrofoam cup and have half a meal ready in five minutes. That kind of food technology was once thought to be reserved solely for astronauts orbiting the earth, with very little space or access to water. Now we can walk into a 7-Eleven and pick up 12 of those bad boys for like, $10."