Dear credit card fraudster:
It’s hard to believe just a few days ago I didn’t know you existed — how time flies when you meet a new friend! When I saw those unexpected charges on my credit card statement in Australian dollars, I’ll admit you surprised me. I’m not sure how my card was compromised. It doesn’t really matter, because it brought us together.
I don’t know your name, and I don’t know what dreams you have for the future. But I hope that the $114 of alcohol you purchased will bring you closer to making them a reality, and satisfy you more than whatever you bought for $184 at a department store before returning it the very same day.
I’m sorry I had to cancel my card, but I can’t afford to support both of us, and, well, I selfishly need that money for tuition. My new card arrives soon, and with it my life will continue on its previous course, but I’ll never forget you, credit card fraudster. Whenever I look at my new card, I’ll fondly remember this bond that we shared, and the place you’ll eternally have in my heart.
Jeff was The Cascade's Editor in Chief for the latter half of 2022, having previously served as Digital Media Manager, Culture & Events Editor, and Opinion Editor. One time he held all three of those positions for a month, and he's not sure how he survived that. He started at The Cascade in 2016.