Life is tough and confusing and weird. We all need help sometimes, and when you need an expert opinion, you turn to an expert opinion-giver like Robin Halper. Whatever problem you’re facing in life, Robin will have a solution. The Cascade cannot guarantee the effectiveness of Robin’s unique approach to life, but if you’re in a jam, get some advice by writing to halp@ufvcascade.ca
Puppy problems
Dear Robin,
My professor’s dog barks so loudly during her lectures that it’s really difficult to hear her. The lectures are live, and we’re all too scared to tell her to shut up her dog because it seems like she loves that dog more than anything in this world. Plus she’s a tough marker, so no one wants to embarrass her or make her upset in any way. Any tips for how to get that dog to be quiet without ruining my chances of getting a decent grade in the class?
Sincerely,
Down Dog
Hello,
I’m having a very similar issue with my prof’s cat constantly purring into their mic during lectures. People and their pets, eh? Start by shooting your prof with an email saying that “the class feels…” rather than “I feel…” when talking about the disruptive behaviour of the dog. In that email also include direct quotes from classmates saying how annoying the dog is, and obviously assign a classmate’s name to each quote. When the prof sees the things the other students are saying, she’ll completely forget that you actually sent the email and start giving the cold shoulder to those students that were quoted saying terrible things about her dog. This will probably not fix everything, but your prof will get the message, and hopefully change will come without any problems heading your way.
Robin
Fixer-upper
Dear Robin,
Where’s the best place in the Fraser Valley to get my watch fixed? I don’t want to purchase a new one.
Sincerely,
Watching Money
Hello,
The only people with watches anymore are the richest of the rich with their Rolexes. And assuming you’re a UFV student (because why else are you writing to me here?) I’m going to make a leap and also assume you don’t have a Rolex because the only students that have nice watches are the ones in the Ivy Leagues who have daddies to pay their tuition out-of-pocket. So no, I don’t know where to get your watch fixed because you’ve only got two options here: blow your life savings on a Rolex because those are the only watches worth repairing or get an Apple Watch like every other person in this world because instead of repairing them, you cry when they break and get a new one. Oh, and secret option number three: just check your phone constantly.
Robin
