Life is tough and confusing and weird. We all need help sometimes, and when you need an expert opinion, you turn to an expert opinion-giver like Robin Halper. Whatever problem you’re facing in life, Robin will have a solution. The Cascade cannot guarantee the effectiveness of Robin’s unique approach to life, but if you’re in a jam, get some advice by writing to halp@ufvcascade.ca
Unsavory smells
Dear Robin,
Lately my roommate’s kombucha smells so bad it’s hard to be in the kitchen, and I love being in the kitchen and taking time to cook my dinners. Now I quickly toss two pizza pops in the microwave and wait in my room while they heat up, then take my food back to my room to eat it there. Since I spend all my time in my bedroom my roommate thinks I’m avoiding him or mad at him, which is totally not true. Ugh, I don’t know what to do because he loves his ‘buch.
Sincerely,
Bummed in the basement
Hey Bummed,
Thanks for trusting me with this difficult topic. I find that those who are obsessed with their ‘buch are very sensitive about their ‘buch, so telling your roommate straight up that it smells bad would probably cause him to fall into a deep pit of depression. Let’s do our best to avoid that. I suggest you casually walk into the kitchen when he’s there and saying something like, “Oh damn, what’s that smell? Do you smell that?” Then do your best to lead him to realize the stench of his ‘buch. Once he realizes that he’s been torturing you, he’ll hopefully offer many apologies and vow to scrape the shit off of his SCOBY or whatever is producing the smell.
Robin
Banana ‘nanas
Dear Robin
Any tips for keeping bananas firm longer? Mine always get crazy mushy after just a couple of hours in my backpack and that’s just nasty. I gotta have my fruit, ya know, and I don’t want to eat it with a spoon out of the peel.
TIA
Mushed in the middle
Hey hey,
Firstly, I would like to thank you for not being a weirdo on keto who refuses to eat some goddamned fruit. Congrats on recognizing that bananas are yum. But yes, you’ve gotta keep them ripe as hell. Two suggestions here for you: eat it at the beginning of the day so it doesn’t bang around at the bottom of your bag all day, or get one of those baby straps you see all the young white moms in Abbotsford wearing and sling that banana against your chest so you can see it at all times. Both options are completely doable. Happy snacking.
Robin
