OpinionHarper needs to stop acting like an American and remember what it...

Harper needs to stop acting like an American and remember what it is to be Canadian

This article was published on October 10, 2013 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.
Reading time: 2 mins

By Christopher DeMarcus (Contributor) – Email

Print Edition: October 9, 2013

 

Dear Mr. Harper,

While everyone is busy writing Miley and O’Conner, I thought I would write to you.

You’ve cut aid funding in favour of your preferred method of development: mining as much of the world as possible. Your government has stayed away from the political suicide that is Iraq, but has no problem sending in mining companies to take advantage of the spoils of war. You seem to be fine with Canada’s move from the image of peace keeper to that of profiteer. Like a mid-level pimp, you’re fine with selling off Canada’s resources bit by bit.

I’m really worried about you, Mr. Harper. I think that when you grew up, you only saw the benefits of economic growth and you’ve never seen the downside to free trade.

But it’s not all your fault. Conforming to an American style of politics has been a long time in coming.

Back in 1961, Prime Minister Diefenbaker made a stand against the American empire. America’s golden boy JFK wanted to put nukes on Canadian soil. Diefenbaker told Kennedy to shove it. In response, Kennedy sent American political researcher Lou Harris into Canada to work the 1962 election. Diefenbaker lost. As you know, this type of American interference continues in Canadian politics today. I assume you work with American pimp pollsters, as you’ve definitely learned a trick or two from them: you like to put a hold on parliament whenever you can.

During our last provincial elections here in BC, party workers loved to talk about how they got “a guy from the Obama campaign.” BC pollsters rubbed the American consultants like lucky tokens. No respect for our Canadian way of doing things. The best part was when the pollsters got it all wrong. Another funny thing about BC: Our population thinks the Liberals are actually liberal!

There is an idea that has been floating about the halls of government: that Canadians are simply Americans who don’t want to be Americans. We want the same stuff – cheap electronics and a spin-off of Breaking Bad. I’m guessing you’re a big fan of House of Cards. You seem to emulate it.

Nothing compares to you, Mr. Harper. I haven’t seen someone take an economic wrecking ball to a country like this since the Americans let their banking system regulate itself.

We used to have a unique culture of politics that was distinctly not American, but that seems to have faded. Now our parties function like products and we love to run attack ad campaigns on each other.

I’m worried about your mental health, too. You’ve been quite the narcissist, not concerned about people that have something directly to do with you; censoring scientists, expanding prisons, cutting social services, and forgetting that Africa exists – except when it’s time to drop some bombs or dig up some minerals. You always have to do things your way.

My dear Mr. Harper, the world does not only run on economics. I’m not getting paid to write you this letter. I’m writing because I love you and I’m worried about you.

Like it or not, we Canadians can be role models. We have to be careful what messages we send to other countries. The message you keep sending is that it’s somehow cool to be prostituted. Canada isn’t simply a resource, it’s a country. Canada and your government are worth more than the market value.

Please don’t be angry that I’ve expressed alarm. Come election time, I’ll be here to help you remember what you’ve done.

Other articles
RELATED ARTICLES

Upcoming Events

About text goes here