Aries – Mar 21 to Apr 19
Your horoscope this week can be found under Cancer.
Taurus – Apr 20 to May 20
I’m having some technical difficulties. Bear with me and find your horoscope under Virgo.
Gemini – May 21 to Jun 20
Actually, check Sagittarius for your horoscope.
Cancer – Jun 21 to Jul 22
Try again. Your horoscope is actually under Pisces.
Leo – Jul 23 to Aug 22
Sorry, I think I made a mistake. Gemini has your horoscope.
Virgo – Aug 23 to Sept 22
Refer to Aquarius for your horoscope this week.
Libra – Sep 23 to Oct 22
My apologies, but your horoscope can be found under Leo.
Scorpio – Oct 23 to Nov 21
Sorry, your horoscope is under Capricorn.
Sagittarius – Nov 22 to Dec 21
Hey, dude. Your shoelaces are untied.
Capricorn – Dec 22 to Jan 19
Error 404. Your horoscope can be read under Taurus.
Aquarius – Jan 20 to Feb 18
You’ll want to see Libra for your actual horoscope.
Pisces – Feb 19 to Mar 20
Oops, I think there’s been a mistake. Look at the Scorpio horoscope for yours.