I went to my first sex toy party when I was in my early 20s. Yup, it was an actual party. There were cute little finger sandwiches, chocolates, a charcuterie board, and an overflowing table of sex toys in every size, shape, and colour that you could imagine. I had never seen so many dual-headed wands and butterfly-shaped devices in my life.
Prior to this experience, I never had the nerve to step foot in a sex shop, let alone the guts to buy anything. I didn’t grow up in a house that openly talked about sex or masturbation or even relationships, in general. And although I wasn’t necessarily shamed for wanting to explore my sexuality, it certainly wasn’t encouraged. But it was at this sex toy party that I proudly purchased my first little vibrating bullet. It was pink, discreet, and I felt it was the least intimidating of the bunch to use. From that moment on, I haven’t looked back. We all deserve to have earth-shattering orgasms, but there are so many other benefits that sex toys bring about, too.
Praise the toys for keeping our genital health in check
Yes, there are actual health benefits to regularly using sex toys for both penis and vagina owners. Many pelvic floor therapists recommend using toys to strengthen your pelvic muscles and improve the health of your vaginal walls. You can, of course, use good ol’ fashioned Kegels to strengthen your pelvic floor, but sex toys are a great option to electrically stimulate these muscles, too. Why are these muscles important? Well, your pelvic floor muscles are essentially responsible for the intensity of your orgasms (strong muscles = stronger orgasms), but they also support your core, keep your bladder in control, and help keep your blood pumping.
Sex toys can also be beneficial for people who are dealing with erectile dysfunction, low libido, or experience difficulty with orgasms. Since many of these toys can promote blood flow and increase the stimulation of the penis, they can be a great option to explore.
Manifest some serious self-confidence
I felt like I went from a shy, sexually ashamed teenager to an empowered woman overnight. Truthfully, there are some things that your hands just cannot do. Trust me. Sex toys can be great tools to help you explore your own body and help you understand what turns you on. You can find what spots, angles, and speeds you prefer, and there is something so empowering about uncovering this by yourself without the influence of a partner. When you start exploring your own sexual desires and figuring out what turns you on, this influences how you begin to see yourself as a sexual being — whether you’re in a relationship or not.
There is something for everyone
Truly, there is something out there for every type of person. Whether you are more reserved or have hardcore fetishes, there is a sex toy for you. Many people may feel a sense of shame if they do not fit into the “normalized” standards of sexual kinks, but sex toys are a great way to safely explore your sexual identity and preferences. While little bullets are great starting points, there are so many options for both internal and external stimulation. This goes beyond the classic dildo. Clitoral stimulators and suction devices work purely for external arousal and are great tools for those who find it difficult to orgasm with penetration alone. There are also some great internal toys as well. Although in slightly different spots, both vagina and penis owners have a G-spot, so experimenting with toys that target these specific glands may increase your ability to cum or strengthen the intensity of your orgasm. There is a strange sense of belonging that comes from exploring your own personal sexual desires. Give it a shot, and remember that lube is your friend.
Strengthen your sexual relationships with partners
I’ve been in a relationship for the past seven years, and when I first started dating my partner, my experience in the bedroom was pretty non-existent. I didn’t want to break his ego if he wasn’t making my legs quiver, but I also wasn’t exactly sure what would get me there. Toys can be an incredibly useful tool to begin to understand your body on a different level. Once you figure out what you enjoy, it makes it so much easier to communicate these desires with your partner. They can also be a great way to mix up your sex life and bring some extra excitement into your intimacy routine. Introducing them while you have sex can be a great way to maximize the chance of both parties climaxing, because they can stimulate the clitoris or prostate in just the right spots. If I can give you any advice, it would be to clearly express to your partner what you like and how you like it, and don’t be afraid to use a toy together every once in a while.
Sydney is a BA English major, creative writing student, who has been a content contributor for The Cascade and is now the Opinion editor. In 7th grade, she won $100 in a writing contest but hasn’t made an earning from writing since. In the meantime, she is hoping that her half-written novels will write themselves, be published, and help pay the bills.