Thirsty for a world leader
By: Andrea Sadowski
Let’s talk for a minute about a shining beam of light in this dreary month filled with warnings of a world war, wildfires engulfing a continent, and black ice on the highway: Justin Trudeau’s beard. Trudeau emerged from his winter holidays in Costa Rica with a fabulous salt-and-pepper beard that I am fully here for. As our country’s world leader takes on a new term, he is also making brave, bold facial hair choices, as he is the first prime minister since 1896 to sport a full beard. Nothing makes my knees weak like a full beard — the bigger the better. I wholeheartedly support Trudeau’s gorgeous facial hair and encourage him to fully embrace his new look and grow a beard out at least as long as Sir MacKenzie Bowell’s was. You are doing your country proud, Mr. Trudeau, and I can’t wait until you rock that beard at the next G7 meeting, showing the other world leaders how it’s done.
Thank God for snow day
By: Nadia Tudhope
My vicious hatred of winter is well-documented. I hate the cold, I hate driving in the snow, I hate how the dark comes so early that daylight feels like a commodity. I’m miserable for most of winter, primarily with the vague despair and lack of energy common to seasonal depression. But with almost every day of this week being a snow day, I’m living my best (albeit dubiously productive) winter life.
Most of this week has been spent luxuriating around the fire, reading, doing minimal amounts of homework, and drinking copious amounts of tea. I’ve made solid progress on the towering piles of to-read books I was sure I would get through over Christmas break but barely made a dent in. The stress of feeling like I’m already behind on homework has evaporated completely. I feel like I’m living how our ancestors intended for people to spend winters: huddled up and telling stories around the fire, even if I’m mostly spending all my time with my dog.
My name is Mikaela and I want to open a window so badly
By: Mikaela Collins
I have a grievance I need to air, an injustice I need to bring up to you, the court of public opinion, and it is this: people who are always cold get sympathy, and people who are always hot get shafted.
If you’re cold, you can put on infinite layers. You can invest in a hot water bottle, an electric blanket, a hot cup of cocoa. Your own personal temperature is, largely, under your control. Meanwhile, if you’re too hot in a communal space, you will inevitably reach a point where there is nothing more you can do but get naked, and HR informs me that that is not a viable option in my workplace (which you would think is full of anemic Victorian orphans judging by the wail that goes up when I try to open a window). Shivering and cold fingers definitely suck, but sweating, headaches, and nausea are also not the most pleasant mid-day visitors.
If you tend to be chilly, I urge you to carry an extra sweater, a scarf, a package of hand warmers, or even a tiny portable space heater, and — if possible — occasionally defer to the people in your life who run hot.
Very important people watching movie
By: Carissa Wiens
Seeing movies in the Abbotsford Cineplex VIP theatre is the only way I see movies now. Yes, the price for a ticket is $19.99, but I think it’s worth it. I mean, I only go like twice a year to the movies now, but it’s worth it. Even though you can smuggle some cans of beer into a regular theatre, drinking a freshly poured beer on tap is much better, plus that single beer is not as expensive as the ticket itself, so it’s not a total loss. If you want to be posh then there’s no need to stand in line to get popcorn; just hunker down in your seat and flag a waiter over to get it for you by snapping your fingers.
My personal favourite part of it all is the lack of snot-nosed children lining the aisles on a school night. Seeing the latest Pixar flick is always better without children behind you constantly asking their parents, “What does that mean?” or “Can I have more popcorn now?” Plus, this magical theatre even eliminates bratty teens making out in the back row. It really is a win for everyone.
Illustrations: Kelly Ning/UFV Cascade
Andrea Sadowski is working towards her BA in Global Development Studies, with a minor in anthropology and Mennonite studies. When she's not sitting in front of her computer, Andrea enjoys climbing mountains, sleeping outside, cooking delicious plant-based food, talking to animals, and dismantling the patriarchy.
