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The ant-infested Big Apple



I am a reluctant vacationer, and cranky traveller even in the best of conditions. Yet I am also an avid fan of binge-watching food showcasing and review videos on YouTube (Lucas Peterson > Nick Solares), which inevitably drew me to New York as the perfect honeymoon destination.

I think in my mind’s eye, the city was nothing but pizzeras, parks, and protesters — but while two out of three of those have been awesome (I’ll find the third if I can bring myself near the Orange King’s Tower), I have also encountered a sheer density of humans I didn’t know was possible. People swarm and scatter like the ants you finally noticed living in the Push Pop candy under your couch.

I hate cities, and especially the traffic. People in Manhattan seem to hate cars so much that they will actually form rogue waves of pure human mass (and some phone glare) to walk directly into traffic, in what I can only assume is a Luddite uprising. At least that would imply a goal, because the worse option is that everyone has devolved to the point that they’re following scent trails instead of common sense.

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