“Gender is an internal feeling of who you are in the world. It [can be] a feeling of manness or womanness or non-binary, who feel neither,” Adrienne Smith said.
Nov. 20 marks the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR), a day to acknowledge, remember, and grieve transgender people who were murdered. To commemorate, UFV hosted Adrienne Smith, a Vancouver human rights lawyer, to educate students and faculty about the history of violence toward transgender people and how we can become more trans-inclusive as peers in the classroom, allies in our community, and an institution.
Smith is transgender and uses they/them pronouns. In Smith’s words, pronouns are words that are commonly used in place of a name. Two widely common sets of pronouns are she/her for people who identify as female, and he/him for people who identify as male. For those who do not subscribe to these binaries, they/them is another set of name-holders. Pronouns can be whatever a person needs them to be, however they wish to be recognized.
There are no “preferred” pronouns — there are pronouns you must use because to refuse them is an act of erasure and a violation of their human rights, according to Smith. No one is allowed to debate the pronouns a person uses to recognize their identity. However, Smith offers that there are instances when someone might need a different set of pronouns to pass in public or with certain company — such as family who might be unaware or unaccepting of someone’s trans identity. But that isn’t an excuse to revert to them in private, and you can easily avoid the use of pronouns by referring to a person by their name instead.
How will you know in which instance to use which pronouns? It’s simple: You just ask.
If you’re in a classroom, at a meeting, or in any sort of social situation where introductions must be made, introduce yourself to a stranger by name and pronouns, and ask for their pronouns. If the person you’re asking is unfamiliar with what pronouns are, let them know that they’re placeholders in a conversation for someone’s name and reference back to your own. Ask who they want to be in that room, as a transgender person may not wish to out themselves. They’ll let you know if they have any restrictions.
“When we are here to learn and exchange ideas, we need to agree to do that in a way that doesn’t exclude people and doesn’t hurt people,” Smith said.
Of course, hosting a single event one day a year is not enough support for our trans community. In a place rife with prejudice, those who are cisgender (where gender identity aligns with biological sex) need to utilize our privilege and call out the discrimination when someone misgenders a trans person or enacts other types of violence through slurs or aggression.
“I’m mindful about how all big atrocities in the world start as small events that people don’t challenge,” Smith said. “They start as a secret thing, then a slightly public thing, then [turn into] these greater rallies… I think, for folks who aren’t trans, [you] really need to be talking about the tax from your privilege and stick up for folks who are further away from justice than you are.”
Smith offers advice for allies who may witness abuse of their transgender friends, something Smith experienced during their time in law school. Check in and see how far your trans friends want to be protected in a classroom setting. They may want help to correct someone who is misgendering them with incorrect pronouns, or they may ask for no interference so that they can remain safe from hostility, prejudice, or violence.
In the future, Smith also suggests that organizers host these events as a webcast for trans students who may not be safe to out themselves to peers and faculty.
If you are transgender and need resources or access to support, the Trans Lifeline is a trans-led organization that is free and available through their website at https://www.translifeline.org/ or by telephone (1-877-330-6366).
