You are not ugly captures the beauty of resilience and self-love
You are not ugly is a poetry collection written by UFV student Saniya Kaushal that meditates on the themes of self-love, bullying, and mental health. Published in the summer of 2020, the anthology is now shelved at Indigo, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and beyond.
On Kaushal’s website, she explains: “This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever questioned their worth. The emotion behind this book has been years in the making. I have been called ugly more times than I can remember, in addition to being labelled with many other hurtful words … I have built myself back up to love myself more now than ever before, and this book is my attempt at building others up too.”
The book is divided into three parts that each cover a different aspect of the self-love journey: feel, listen, and overcome. The first section, “feel,” focuses on the effects that negative words can have on one’s self-esteem, while “listen” questions these judgements, and “overcome” deals with pushing back and reclaiming love for oneself.
Individually, each poem is short and sweet. Kaushal’s writing is similar in style to other popular poets such as Rupi Kaur of Milk and Honey fame. They’re often written in an informal tone, reading like a stream of consciousness or passing thoughts one might have while they work toward building self-esteem and confidence. An example is the last poem of the collection: “if i hadn’t loved myself so little then / i wouldn’t love myself so much now.”
While the poems of each section work together to form a cohesive chain of thoughts that tie into an overall theme, individual poems can come off as underdeveloped and too short. (An example is a poem that solely reads “do better.”) The pages also lack the illustrations of similar books like the aforementioned Milk and Honey which contributed to its aesthetic and made its ideas feel more full-bodied.
However, this seems to have been done purposefully. In an email interview, Kaushal responds to the criticism: “I would argue that these ‘short and punchy’ poems each describe short moments in my life that have all accumulated together into my complete journey toward self-love; this can be seen by looking at the entirety of my book as a whole. Therefore, I would encourage critics to take a step back and see how all of my book’s individual poems harmonize together to accomplish my book’s overall message.”
While many will read you are not ugly and assume Kaushal has post-secondary training in writing, the truth is that while at UFV, Kaushal majored in biology before moving on to attend medical school in Ireland. As a STEM student, she pushes back against the notion that science and the arts don’t mix.
“The art of writing poetry offers me an emotional outlet that cannot be achieved through solely studying science. Specifically, writing has provided me a unique way to reflect on my own experiences and express myself in a therapeutic art form. Science cannot offer me this alone … Therefore, to reach my internal fulfillment, I have to mix the two,” Kaushal said.
She goes on to explain that by indulging in both science and art, she’s able to exceed in both. “Collaborating the investigative nature and precision of science with art’s creativity and emotion can make for a better scientist and artist. Both of these disciplines require the participant to dig deep and describe our surroundings, just in different contexts.”
You are not ugly will resonate with those at any stage of their self-love journey. In it, Kaushal questions past trauma caused by ridicule and reassures readers that healing is possible and worthwhile. Kaushal’s poetry collection can be found at major book retailers or online in an ebook format, and those wanting to keep up with Kaushal can visit her website.
You are not ugly book. (Saniya Kaushal)
Chandy is a biology major/chemistry minor who's been a staff writer, Arts editor, and Managing Editor at The Cascade. She began writing in elementary school when she produced Tamagotchi fanfiction to show her peers at school -- she now lives in fear that this may have been her creative peak.