Let me make this clear: I’m not on a sugar cleanse. I’m not part of a pyramid scheme diet where I need to purchase pre-packaged food that I ingest several times a day. I’m not following the religion of maintaining ketosis. I’m just a person who doesn’t like eating dessert, or anything sweet for that matter.
If it were up to me, post-dinner treats would usually be a healthy serving of Ruffles All Dressed chips. When that isn’t readily available for me at dinner parties I just pass on dessert.
When I was growing up I was taught to eat (at least most of) whatever food was given to me, even if it smelled fishy. Since switching to vegetarianism several years ago I’ve still kept this mindset; if someone makes me dinner but doesn’t know I eat a vegetarian diet, I will still consume the food they give me. I would rather have an animal’s body that has been prepared for eating be digested than thrown in the trash by me. But something changes in my mind when it comes to dessert. Even when my mother makes a delicious Toblerone cheesecake, I can’t stomach the slice that’s been offered to me.
I find that sometimes in a group, when the dinner plates are cleared and dessert is next on the agenda, women will often decline dessert. When one female declines, the standard is set for the other women in the group. Often I feel that it’s a shameful act to eat dessert in a group, that it shows a lack of control — a weakness.
It breaks my heart to know that many people follow this unsaid protocol. And I hate that I contribute to this because I’m often the one to decline dessert, therefore setting a standard for the others in my group. But I don’t think any less of people who do order dessert. Please, eat all the sweets you want, I just won’t have any because I don’t like it. Sweet foods are genuinely unappetizing to me.
Unfortunately I never know how to get that message across to the others in my party. Of course I could simply say, “I won’t have any dessert but don’t let that stop you,” but so often we overthink things and others in my party might not believe me. It’s all very complicated.
If people would offer potato chips instead of dessert, I would be all over that. But usually, restaurants and hosts don’t. So I’m proposing that in order to help people feel accepted no matter what they eat after dinner (or during dinner on that note), we should offer savoury desserts as well. Maybe some mac ‘n’ cheese bits, just deep fry them like a donut. Or let’s continue to keep this cheese plate trend alive. By offering these salty after-dinner snacks, people like me can still feel indulgent after dinner without being the person to set the tone of declining dessert.
