Ah, the holiday season: such a wonderful time of the year. There’s all the beautiful decorations that pop up wherever you look, exquisite food that gives a hug to the heart, and many more gleeful happenings that sweeten the end of the year. But if it’s all joy and warmth, how can there possibly be people who dislike the holidays? Surely they need to allow the Christmas spirit into their hearts to uplift and free them from their Grinch-like demeanour, no? Well, not quite. It is not a manner of needing to be rescued from that state of despisement, because in truth, there is always a story beneath the surface.
There are plenty of reasons people can’t stand the winter holidays, and it largely has to do with what it reminds them of. Namely, things that are generally very important to oneself — such as family, friends, and experiences. As a holiday disliker myself, I know first-hand what it feels like to go about the winter break feeling alienated while observing everyone else having the jolliest of times. And then there is always that conversation that eventually pops up: “Oh, so you really hate Christmas? How come?” For many like me, there’s likely a lengthy explanation of why exactly this is.
For me, Christmas lost its charm long ago when my parents separated near the holidays; the next year, my grandfather passed away close to Christmas. This caused my extended family to drift away almost overnight, taking with them the warmth of winter I yearned for. Experiencing such an abrupt end to my holiday bliss — with disputes and disillusion taking its place ever since — scarred me. Going from anticipating the season to bracing for its impact wasn’t nice, and it remained awful for several years. I am happy to report that after a lot of inner work, I’ve begun to reclaim some joy for myself during this season, but for others in similar situations, it just doesn’t work that way.
If someone’s family dynamic has gone sour, then being forced to meet with family members — or on the opposite end, being deprived of meeting them when you yearn for a warm reunion — can be torture. There are others who struggle more each year to meet the expectation of giving out gifts to show that you care for the people in your life, who despise the pressure to spend tons of money on gifts that you don’t even know the recipient will use. Another reason may be because of the consumerist craze: people who have worked retail adjacent jobs often have to endure the strain of keeping up with the demand and the clientele, while being unable to enjoy their holiday break themselves out of necessity to work. Last but not least, some might feel like Christmas gets pushed down their throats when they don’t find it agreeable for personal reasons.
So, whenever you meet a person that dislikes Christmas — or any other holiday for that matter — I invite you to listen respectfully and be kind. Even if it is hard to believe that one can dislike a time so commonly associated with happiness, this does not make them a Grinch. In fact, I guarantee that there is a very human reason they feel that way — because if there is a feeling powerful enough to overcome a holiday’s festiveness, then there must be a heavier reason behind it worth understanding.
