Aries – Mar. 21 to Apr. 19
Many things thrive in the dark: mold, potatoes, mushrooms. Not humans though. Humans are more like flowers. We need light, warmth, and general sun stuff. Stop wallowing and go for a nature walk, you Corn Cockle.
Taurus – Apr. 20 to May 20
Glass is pretty. It has many shapes, and can be made into plenty of useful objects. But you can’t just grab a hunk of cold glass and shape it to your will; you have to warm it up first. Stop impulsively trying to complete things, and be careful of shards.
Gemini – May 21 to Jun. 20
The end of anything is always the beginning of something else … or what’s the cliché? A door closes and a window opens? This notion is often used to look forward to a new positive era on the horizon, but not this time. This is a warning.
Cancer – Jun. 21 to Jul. 22
I get it. It’s a coping mechanism to look down on others in hopes of bringing yourself up. But gossip is not actually the cure to your insecurities. Have you considered daily affirmations?
Leo – Jul. 23 to Aug. 22
Yesterday can’t hurt you — it doesn’t exist anymore — and no amount of psychological time travel will change that. Looking back has only stopped you from moving forward, and although the present is safer than the past, the future is an exciting place filled with possibilities. Go explore it.
Virgo – Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
You’ve done well lately and it has you feeling on top of the world. Be careful though, resting on a crown can leave some nasty indents on your ***ass*uetudes. Don’t slack now; keep up with the habits that have gotten you this far.
Libra – Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
Dreams to nightmares, and nightmares to dreams. Sometimes we think it’s one when it’s the other, but really it doesn’t matter. It’s time to wake up now. Good fortune, bad fortune, unfortunately unknown, but fortune nonetheless awaits your awakening.
Scorpio – Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
A wizard leaves a strange rune on the round door to your comfort zone. You’re scared of the adventure to come, but your party and the wizard assure they will do their best to keep you safe. If Bilbo can do it, so can you.
Sagittarius – Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
Therapy looks good on you.
Capricorn – Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
Blah, blah, blah. Sometimes words are meaningless. It’s okay to save your breath — I know I will.
Aquarius – Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
Creative blocks are the worst. Just staring at a blank anything with no muse to spark colour sucks. Sometimes rest will get you further than stress. If you can’t be an artist today, be a jock. Take a step back and launch forward.
Pisces – Feb. 19 to Mar. 20
A teacher once showed me a video to exemplify hierarchical organization within nature. It showed how you can look at something like a flower, and it seems organized, but then you zoom in and the texture of the petal is chaotic, then it zooms in more, and the molecule looks organized, and then it zooms in more and the atoms are all chaotic. Math aside, I guess it goes to show how much perception matters, and when life seems chaotic, a step back can make it organized again.
