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Horoscopes

Aries – Mar. 21 to Apr. 19

You’re being stubborn. The unbending break, and the unbreakable bend. Consider some flexibility over your brittle strengths.

Taurus – Apr. 20 to May 20

The world is a sandbox, and you have played in it wonderfully. Don’t lose yourself to the sand; after all, sand wears down even the sharpest of rocks. Go wash up, and try interacting with more than just empty shells, lest you become one yourself.

Gemini – May 21 to Jun. 20

Ah, budding love is such a beautiful thing. But be careful! If you harvest too soon, it’ll be volatile and short-lived, and harvesting too late will only be sedating at best. Timing is everything. If you get this reference, they’re onto you. 

Cancer – Jun. 21 to Jul. 22

You enjoy hibernation, but every now and again you find the drive to go hunting for honey. Be careful on how you go about it; you wouldn’t want to get stung, would you?

Leo – Jul. 23 to Aug. 22

You’re realizing now how worn down you are. You feel burnt, charred, and used. But my friend, you are an iron skillet — a well seasoned skillet by now. Choose some time away from the flames and come back washed, oiled, and ready to cook.

Virgo – Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

You have broken free from your cocoon. Go out, fly off, experience the new. The moon will guide you, the earth will nurture you, and the world awaits you.

Libra – Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

You tried; you really did. Now it’s time to be honest with yourself. Time for a little restructuring: mood board and cut-outs, agendas and highlighters, calendars and stickers, whatever you desire. 

Scorpio – Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

“Relax,” they say. “I can’t,” you reply. Nothing is working like it should, and you should be able to overcome these things. How about you don’t should on yourself and save some energy. Sometimes, living life on life’s terms means stepping in a little should, and just learning to wipe your feet.

Sagittarius – Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

I see the therapy hint last time didn’t land. It’s my bad really. I’m too subtle at times. Let’s unpack it together then, shall we? Tell me about the winds of your free spirit, how well they cover up the screams of your insecurities. I’m listening.

Capricorn – Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

One jump ahead of the slowpokes; one skip ahead of your doom; next time, gonna try to clean your room; one step ahead of the rest; one hit ahead of the flock; I think you should stroll around the block. During that stroll reflect on why you feel the need to be the smartest person in the room.

Aquarius – Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

Between a rock and a hard place is only a problem if you’re a solid. Be the sea! Slap both with your waves, tell them to go float themselves, rain down and wash away the stress, and go find stillness in a lake.

Pisces – Feb. 19 to Mar. 20

All mothers are witches. They brew comfort food, they charm away boo-boos with a kiss, they see the unforeseen and are always right. When the demons start to hunt me, I know the one place I can go for a remedy. Home.

Madame LaCarte
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