I was sitting in The Cascade office, as I do every day, attempting to work… when it hit me. The overwhelming urge to crack a tooth on a snack. In other words, I wanted some Corn Nuts. Specifically the ranch flavoured ones; and so my journey began… Cue the montage music.
First, I headed down to the Student Union Building vending machine where I knew they kept these bad boys stocked. To my disappointment, BBQ was the only flavour available — though I could see those little ranch jewels hiding in the background. So began my trek across campus to find what my heart had latched onto. With great dismay, I returned to the office, having scoured each building’s vending machines, with not a kernel to my name. Sweaty and discouraged, I plopped in my chair, utterly defeated. But my hunt did not end there. A gas station trip and grocery store run later, and there they were… gleaming at me in the Save-On-Foods bulk aisle.
I write this to you as I pop my jaw on my scavenged snacks. Thus adjourns the great corn nut quest of 2025; and they all lived crunchily ever after.
