#FreeBritney
By: Andrea Sadowski
It seems like this was the summer of conspiracy theories. I tend to stay away from political theories like whether or not China manufactured COVID-19 and prefer to stick to pop culture conspiracies instead. The theory I have been following recently is about Britney Spears’ conservatorship and the coded messages she has allegedly been communicating to her followers via Instagram. It all started when a fan said something in the comments like, “Britney, if you want help wear yellow in your next post.” The very next post there was Britney in her flowery, yellow crop top.
Britney’s Instagram has always been a source of pure entertainment for me as she posts selfies of herself with a dead look in her eyes, or videos of her endlessly twirling or doing suggestive yoga poses on a public beach somewhere. I don’t think Britney is being held captive by her dad or her boyfriend as the conspiracy theory suggests, and even if this was the case, I doubt she would have control over what gets posted on her public Instagram account. But I am living for the comment section of this “skinny-as-a-needle” pop icon and love to see her gorgeous face on my feed, even if she posts the same selfies in the same outfit 25 times.
At what point are you writing fan fiction?
By: Nicholas Ashenhurst-Toews
Due to recent events concerning a certain very popular author, I have been thinking about the ethics of consuming media made by problematic people. I have also had to think about the nuance of how it impacts the people or groups the artist has harmed directly or indirectly with their words or work. Which means I’ve also had to consider thinking about the people that were harmed by the action and in some cases their connection to that artist’s work. Which leads me to the question of who owns a piece of work once it is out in the world.
She-who-must-not-be-named poses an interesting question because she is alive, spreading misinformation, and exudes a level of creative control over her most popular work in a way I’ve never really seen. As a writer myself, it makes me angry because once something is out in the world you should not have power over it anymore. Anything that’s in the work is in there, and anything that isn’t will never be. You cannot retroactively rewrite your own work, because at this point you’re just writing fan fiction. You need to be held accountable for your actions, and you also need to let your projects rest. They will go on without you.
Price your used clothing appropriately or face my wrath
By: Chandy Dancey
When I go thrift shopping, I want cheap prices and the joy of finding a one-of-a-kind piece — I’m not asking for much here. But with clothing reselling apps like Depop, I question where all the good thrift deals have gone. If you’re offering a brand-name garment with little to no wear, I can understand why the asking price is higher than expected. However, if you’re advertising a used lip gloss (how do you even sanitize that?) or a fast-fashion hoodie for slightly less than what it costs in the store, you’ve got to reevaluate your pricing. I understand everyone wants to make a profit, but now I’m stuck being cripplingly self-aware that I seem like a cheapskate for making “low-ball” offers; I’m the bad guy instead of the real evil being seen for what it is: the gentrification of thrifting. And Facebook Marketplace? You’re on thin ice too, pal. Everyone knows you got that sweater with visible piling for about $10 more than you’re asking, Barbara.
So long, soggy cereal
By: Elyssa English
For much of my life, the consumption of cereal has proved to be a struggle — one that, more often than not, I have decided to avoid altogether. As much as I love cereal, it’s rarely worth the anguish. Few foods repulse me more than soft, squishy, soggy flakes of wheat. I am not a picky eater; I will eat just about anything. However, the texture of milk-soaked cereal is the very bane of my existence. It takes far too much willpower to tolerate, and there is too small a window of time between perfect milk absorption and sopping wet abomination. It’s a race against the clock to inhale the cereal before it’s too late. The entire process is stressful and unpleasant. Or so it used to be.
A solution has been discovered! (And no it isn’t “Just eat it dry” as my mother suggested. That’s no fun.) It’s yogurt! A beautiful, wonderful, snacktime saviour. I can eat it at as leisurely a pace as I want, no longer rushed by the fear of overly moist Shreddies. It’s perfect. With so much variety, in both yogurt and cereal, the possible combinations are endless.
Illustrations: Rain Neeposh/The Cascade
Andrea Sadowski is working towards her BA in Global Development Studies, with a minor in anthropology and Mennonite studies. When she's not sitting in front of her computer, Andrea enjoys climbing mountains, sleeping outside, cooking delicious plant-based food, talking to animals, and dismantling the patriarchy.
Chandy is a biology major/chemistry minor who's been a staff writer, Arts editor, and Managing Editor at The Cascade. She began writing in elementary school when she produced Tamagotchi fanfiction to show her peers at school -- she now lives in fear that this may have been her creative peak.
Elyssa is a BSc student, pursuing studies in Physical Geography while also entertaining her creative side within the visual arts. She is currently the Creative Director here with the Cascade. Having previously been an Illustrator, Production Assistant, and Production Manager, she's been around a while. In her free time she can often be found knitting and watching reruns of outdated shows from the 80s.
