How foolish we once were
Carissa Wiens
Chatting with a friend over the phone the other day, she reminded me of the time last year when Vanessa Hudgens said on Instagram live, “… people are going to die, which is terrible… but inevitable?” in regards to COVID-19. Hudgens said this on March 16, 2020, already five days after the World Health Organization declared it a global pandemic.
In the video, Hudgens was expressing frustration about Coachella being delayed — too bad she didn’t even know that it would soon be cancelled altogether. It’s almost laughable how lightly some of us responded to the virus in its early stages. So many of us had never experienced anything like this before, which made it difficult to imagine how drastically our world would change. I remember constantly calming down my mother when she displayed any sentiment of fear. I said things like, “This will blow over any minute,” “The stats are probably flawed,” and “We’ll definitely still be able to go to Mexico in September.”
Oh, how young and naive I once was.
Monkey see, monkey believe in conspiracies
Chandy Dancey
For most of my childhood, I wouldn’t eat bananas. Maybe you’re thinking it was just because I disliked the taste, but no — it was a much less reasonable answer. You see, it was because I was scared of turning into a monkey. How it started is I vividly remember seeing a documentary on TV when I was a kid. (And in retrospect, it must have been either a joke or otherwise the weirdest conspiracy theory ever.) The documentary made itself out to be this gritty exposé — but it was about how eating bananas made you grow excessive hair and turn into a monkey. (I’m sure Darwin is turning over in his grave thinking about that evolutionary conundrum.) I mean, I remember this show having dramatic music, emotional testimonials, and one naturally hairy man looking down at his hands, grieving his transformation into a primate. After I watched it, the next time my parents asked me if I wanted bananas on my pancakes, well, they were a little off-putting. What I don’t remember from the documentary is a punchline, so I guess I became one myself.
Hey TikTok, can we not?
Andrea Sadowski
Like the rest of the world, I now pass my days by endlessly scrolling through Facebook Reels and TikTok videos. My social media algorithms have been fine-tuned to keep me watching videos featuring cute animals, wild mushroom identification, and food. I love food and everything about it. I love grocery shopping, cooking, and above all, eating. Which is why I thoroughly appreciate the 30-second-long recipe clips for inspiration. I notice once one person makes a really yummy, easy-to-make dish on TikTok, soon everybody follows suit and it’s a massive trend. I am on board with most of these trends and have made viral recipes such as: dalgona coffee, roasted tomato feta pasta, foldover quesadillas, pancake cereal, and probably the cutest of all — gardenscape focaccia.
But this time TikTok has taken it too far, and I am disgraced. I’m talking about “Nature Cereal,” which is just some little fruits in a bowl with ice cubes and coconut water. Let’s just call this what it is — a watery fruit salad! Why do you have to make everything weird, TikTok?! If you want some fruit, just eat some fruit! Better yet, blend all that up in a delicious smoothie. Don’t be putting it in a bowl and calling it cereal, because it’s not! I’m ready for this stupid trend to be over and for the next one to be potatoes shaped like genitalia or something else weird and unnecessary.
(Elyssa English /The Cascade)
Chandy is a biology major/chemistry minor who's been a staff writer, Arts editor, and Managing Editor at The Cascade. She began writing in elementary school when she produced Tamagotchi fanfiction to show her peers at school -- she now lives in fear that this may have been her creative peak.
Andrea Sadowski is working towards her BA in Global Development Studies, with a minor in anthropology and Mennonite studies. When she's not sitting in front of her computer, Andrea enjoys climbing mountains, sleeping outside, cooking delicious plant-based food, talking to animals, and dismantling the patriarchy.
