The Huntress
By Teryn Midzain
**Read in a David Attenborough voice and narration**
It’s a Friday night and The Huntress, a calico cat, has been fed all three of her daily meals of highly particular wet cat food, but the scent of a pepperoni and mushroom pizza that the humans of the house bought is much more pleasing to The Huntress.
She descends from her favourite window sill, tired of her evening neighbourly watch, and begins her hunt. The humans sit on their couch, plates in hand, and watch the rectangular moving picture that shows her favourite murder mystery and distracts the humans from her prowling around the large table in the center of the room.
An opportunity arises as one of the humans in a blue removable layer of fur places his meal dish on the table and relaxes. They are unaware that The Huntress, with her expertise in stealth, has used her tri-coloured coat to blend into the quilt strewn over the sofa’s seat.
She waits for the perfect timing, gliding like water over the quilt, onto the smooth surface of the table, and strikes. A human hand comes out and bats The Huntress away. “Mosey, fuck off,” it says, and takes the pizza away.
Foiled, The Huntress chastises in a series of annoying high-pitched, judgmental and angry calls that the humans are too primitive to understand.
No longer amused and hungry, the Huntress stalks off to find the human’s cleanest stack of laundry to sleep in.
My breakup with coffee
By Sydney Marchand
A few years ago I did what most people would describe as insanity: I gave up coffee. Yes, I went from drinking six cups a day to deciding to completely cut it out of my diet; cold-turkey, all-or-nothing, throw-all-my-chips-on-the-table, I just cut it out.
I’ll be the first to admit that there is nothing better than that first sip of coffee right in the morning. The sudden jolt of life that hits your system after a fresh cup of joe is simply incomparable to water or any other kind of morning beverage. And although I credit my love affair with a dark roast with a splash of oat milk for getting me through my many procrastinated assignments, deep down I knew it was causing me more harm than good.
I could almost predict how many caffeine-induced panic attacks I would have each week and how many nights I would lie awake at night unable to sleep because I was too anxious about tomorrow’s to-do list. My hands were constantly shaking, my stomach was an acidic mess — and yet, at times, it felt like my saving grace. So don’t call me crazy for giving up this glorified beverage. Sure, some people might be seemingly fine with consuming copious amounts of caffeine, but I was not one of those lucky few. For now, I’ll stick to decaf.
Time for you to go back to the places you will be from
By Maecyn Klassen
I’m moving this week, and the experience is bringing up a lot of unexpected, complicated emotions. Stress is huge, of course; I spent four hours on Friday just packing up my books with my mom, who must have been a Tetris champion in another life. While it’s a relief to be started on the massive process of packing up my tchotchke-stuffed room, I’m really starting to worry about storage in the tiny suite I’ll be moving into. I’m also moving back to my hometown, which I swore I’d never do, so there’s a sense of being drawn back into a spiral to nowhere that I really have to work on fighting. Even though I’m absolutely thrilled beyond belief to be moving out on my own for the first time, I’m already mourning the loss of my easy, laughter-filled social life; my roommate’s staying in Abbotsford, and I know I’ll miss our evenings together more than I can possibly fathom. This move is a good thing, I know, and it’s exactly what I’ve been dreaming about since I was first entering adulthood, but I never expected it to pull my feelings in as many different directions as it has.
Soundtracks do wonders for concentration
By Anisa Quintyne
Whenever I sit at my desk, I find that video game soundtracks help me concentrate.
It started a few years ago. My first introduction to this recursive little process was sometime at night. I was struggling to finish an essay, and I just remembered hearing somewhere that Nintendo music increases your focus, because, well, that’s the whole technique to beating a game: the music is meant to help you focus.
So I went to look for a Mario Kart playlist. It was funny at first; I didn’t really take it seriously. Who knows? Coconut Mall hits different past 12:00 a.m. What I do remember is suddenly being more immersed in my homework than usual.
Right now, I’ve fallen into a nostalgia-shaped hole listening to the Minecraft soundtrack on repeat. It’s taken up most of my music now. I won’t be surprised if my Spotify Wrapped at the end of this year is composed entirely by C418 and Lena Raine. It’s just so good.
If you’re struggling to focus on a project or an assignment, or struggling to fall asleep, the Animal Crossing soundtrack does wonders as well.
Teryn Midzain is an English Major with ambitious goals to write movies and a full-time nerd, whose personality and eccentrics run on high-octane like the cars he loves. More importantly, Teryn loves sports [Formula One], and doesn’t care who knows. When not creating and running deadly schemes in his D&D sessions, Teryn tries to reach the core of what makes the romantic and dramatic World of Sports, the characters and people that make the events so spectacular.
Sydney is a BA English major, creative writing student, who has been a content contributor for The Cascade and is now the Opinion editor. In 7th grade, she won $100 in a writing contest but hasn’t made an earning from writing since. In the meantime, she is hoping that her half-written novels will write themselves, be published, and help pay the bills.
In between horror movie marathons and arthritis-inducing embroidery sessions, Maecyn likes to correct the grammar of unsuspecting journalists. She’s currently pursuing a BA in History and a career in library science, which makes her the official ambassador for cardigan-wearers everywhere.
