Another semester is upon us, my collegiate comrades. Now is the optimal time to confront your workload head on, and create a plan to stay ahead of the essay writing crunch. Not sure where to start? Luckily for you, I have written what must be hundreds of them in my academic career — two of them quite good! So allow me, an experienced wordsmith and semi-professional university student, to share my process for how to write the term paper of your dreams.
Step 1: Create an Outline
The first step to writing a successful essay is to draft up an outline; this will provide you with a structure for your research and subsequent writing — a roadmap if you will — that will help you stay organized and efficient. Some courses may even require that you turn in your outline for marks. Whether or not this is the case, you’re still going to want to make sure you start here on your essay crafting journey.
Step 2: Do Some Research
Time to start digging for sources! Use keywords to try and pick out sources that may be relevant to your outline. Just a tip — use a website, like Citation Machine, to help you keep track of your sources as you go, and keep a document of these citations and brief summaries of their content handy. This will help your information to be organized and accessible. Remember, when it comes to writing an essay, the lion’s share of the work is really in the research. If you have a good, exhaustive list of sources, then you really are 90 per cent of the way there, so don’t be afraid to let the research stage take up as much space as it needs.
Step 3: Start Writing!
Open your Google doc.
Now, some say the key to successfully making delicious fresh pasta is in the kind of flour, but this is not necessarily true. While the gold standard “00” flour will produce a more silky, delicate dough — suitable for a finer pastas such as capellini — all-purpose flour works just fine for the vast majority of applications. NOTE: I have had mixed success substituting gluten-free flour. I recommend trying your favourite general purpose/“baking” mix and seeing how it turns out.
Step 4: Start Writing!
Ingredients:
- 2 cups flour
- 4 large eggs
Instructions:
- Starting on a clean, dry surface, make a mountain out of your flour, and form a well in the center with a spoon.
- Crack eggs into the well. Using a fork, beat the eggs, slowly pulling flour from the edges of the well into the mix and combining until a dough forms.
- Knead the dough for at least 5 minutes or until smooth and yellow. If the dough is too dry, you can add a tablespoon of water.
- Once formed into a ball, wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
- Take the dough out of the fridge. Roll it out on a floured surface until it is thin enough that it becomes semitransparent. NOTE: This is a very physically demanding process, so don’t be afraid to go slow and take as much time as you need to get the job done right.
- Once it’s rolled out, cut it into your desired shape.
Step 5: Start Writing!
When you’re ready to cook your pasta, boil in salted water for 2-3 minutes, or until the pasta starts to float. I like to serve it with my homemade pesto. If you’re finding yourself short on time, store-bought is fine.
Step 6: Regret
Full of carbs and self-loathing, double check the due date and realize that you are running out of time. Lock yourself away in your room the day before it is due, put on your focusing playlist, and stare at your blank screen as you struggle to scrounge up the will to live/graduate university. If you’re finding yourself short on time, store bought is fine.
Step 7: Sacred Pilgrimage
Go to your nearest coffee shop and order a coffee that is so large and so expensive the caffeine gods avert their gaze at your hubris. Drink it fast; you are here to accomplish a goal.
Step 8: Enlightenment
Abandon your outline. Allow the caffeine and adrenaline to pump your ego up to unimaginable proportions. Convince yourself that you write better in a “freestyle, stream-of-consciousness” format. Finish twenty minutes before the deadline; Feel like a husk of a human being as you upload the .docx file to Blackboard. Afterwards, close all 37 tabs in your browser, one at a time.
NOTE: The leftover pasta can be frozen and stored in an airtight container for up to one month. Thaw 12 hours in advance and then prepare it as normal.
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