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Dear Robin

Dear Robin: reality check & rude awakening

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Life is tough and confusing and weird. We all need help sometimes, and when you need an expert opinion, you turn to an expert opinion-giver like Robin Halper. Whatever problem you’re facing in life, Robin will have a solution. The Cascade cannot guarantee the effectiveness of Robin’s unique approach to life, but if you’re in a jam, get some advice by writing to halp@ufvcascade.ca

Reality check

Dear Robin,

Today I learned that mermaids aren’t real. Are there other things that we have grown to believe are real but actually aren’t? Any help would be appreciated before I embarrass myself in my human biology class again.

Sincerely,

Shocked about science

Hey,

That’s a tough reality to face. I remember when I discovered the same thing just a few years ago. It was a difficult mourning process. Some other things that you need to know aren’t real are dolphins, the North Pole, 12-hour lasting sunblock, submarines, and instant rice. I wish you all the best as you discover yourself and the lies of this world.

Robin


Rude awakening

Dear Robin,

Popcorn is my fave snack. I eat it constantly. But after years of blissfully shoveling it into my mouth, those little popcorn kernel bits are now getting stuck in my teeth. I have no idea how to prevent this. Any ideas?

From,

Crunching for answers

Hello,

This is a real problem. After you’ve started a social media campaign to raise awareness of this pressing issue (#kernelkare), I would purchase dental floss and keep that on you at all times. If you can’t afford dental floss at this time, take two or three hairs from your head, pull them out, and use them in place of dental floss. The latter option may be better than dental floss because you’ll never forget to bring your hair with you when you’re eating popcorn, and I’m pretty sure hair is biodegradable. Happy munching!

Robin

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