Falsie Frenzy

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This article was published on March 28, 2018 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.
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So, I dance. Part of dance is doing stage makeup, and of course, applying the fake lashes so your eyes pop, looking big and doe-like. But it’s probably the part of the routine that takes the longest, and causes the most stress. First, there’s the glue. Messy, sticky, clear, and ends up on everything. And I mean everything. I found falsie glue on an apple in my refrigerator. If someone could Sherlock how that happened for me, that’d be great. After sticking that glue on the spine of the lashes, then comes the next trick: actually sticking it to your eyelid. Not just anywhere on your eyelid, but as close as possible to your lash line — which happens to be extremely, and uncomfortably, close to your eyeball. And to your lower lid. So if you miss, you risk gluing your eye shut. Which results in wandering blindly around your house, and accidently falling down the stairs, tail over teakettle, at the mercy of gravity. So, let’s be real. Falsies should be applied with caution, and only by an expert. All you Instagram models, stop giving us hope that it’s so darn easy. It isn’t. You must be magic.
Image: Amara Gelaude/The Cascade

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