Does retail shopping make you irritable? I am here to offer advice in order to make your life, and the lives of the people serving you, more enjoyable.
If you decide the coffee you’re drinking isn’t to your liking, simply dispose of it in your nearest garbage receptacle. Stores have placed these lovely, big black bins conveniently around the building for you.
Are there long lines at the checkouts? Don’t panic. Please refrain from shouting obscenities as this creates an unpleasant environment for the rest of us.
Don’t be embarrassed if you change your mind about a product. Simply give these items to an employee, instead of hiding them behind other items on the shelf.
There is a misconception that we secretly brainstorm ways to increase prices. Let me assure you this does not happen. I am not nearly important enough to provide any influence in this area.
You may, from time to time, see signs that say “use next checkout” or “leave heavy items in buggy.” If you are confused as to what these instructions mean, we will gladly explain them to you.
We hope that these tips will provide you with a pleasant, rage-free shopping experience.
Image: Simer Haer/The Cascade