If I had the opportunity to redesign humans, you bet I’m going totally feral about it. In my wild dreams, all humans are getting upgraded to 2.0 version and yes — it’s obligatory. There’s no opting out. I would launch an entirely new human species that’s much kinder, better, and slays harder.
Let’s start grand with what would be the most important default setting in humans: you cannot commit bad deeds. The idea itself makes me feel so much safer. I am so tired of scratching my head over-analyzing people’s intentions and reading in between the lines. In the upgraded version, we all live like we are supposed to: as good humans who don’t harm anyone. It’s all a fairytale and everyone’s nice in it.
Moving to the physical aspect, can we also cut down the three meals a day humans need to sustain themselves? I propose one meal a day should suffice. I cannot remember the last time I had three meals a day because boy, it’s hard okay? The worst part about adulthood is spending two hours cooking something only to finish it in 30 minutes followed by another hour of washing dishes. I am telling you — life would be much simpler if we just have to do it once.
While we’re at it, we should also have an ailment scanner. You go into body scanning mode and it tells you everything that’s wrong with you. In my perfect world, every ailment has a cure that’s not outrageously expensive and you don’t have to worry about getting an appointment six months from now. One pill and magically, you are cured. How does that sound? Fairytale logic, but imagine the relief.
Now let’s talk about everyone’s one true love — sleeping. I love to sleep at any given hour of day and, if I could, I would sleep 10 hours a day — yet anything over six feels like a far-sighted dream. Taking catnaps at work? High-key embarrassing. I would love it if our bodies could wake up as refreshed with two hours of sleep as they would with the recommended amount of at least seven. I would be slaying so much more in life if I wasn’t a walking zombie every second day.
Another essential upgrade would be the ability to magically fix our insecurities. Pardon me, I am a child who grew up watching Disney princesses wave their magic wands to fix everything. In my world, everyone feels like baddies. If they don’t like a feature of theirs, they can snap their fingers like a magic wand and change it. No embarrassment and no shame, just slay, my kings and queens.
I believe kindness is the biggest power one can hold. To make us kinder to one another, I would add a heart-shaped happiness radar near the collarbone that acts like a battery, showing how much happiness one is feeling. That way, we would know when someone needs extra love without having to explain it. In my world, everyone feels loved and no one needs therapy.
If I am being truly hypothetical, one true power I would love for us to have is the ability to meet our lost loved ones in our dreams. Call me biased, but I have my mom in heaven — I believe there should be a rule that your loved ones cannot ever fully leave you. If they must go, then in my world we can hug them every night after we go to bed.
Of course, as everyone else, I would love it if we humans had the power to teleport. Imagine you can travel without expensive airplane tickets and exhausting hours of long travel — I already know everyone loves the idea.
Lastly, let’s be real — we all love being rich. I would go gaga over the ability to have how much money whenever I needed. One crazy thing about imagination is it doesn’t have to be logical, and this is it. Imagine if we had the magical power to be rich and it wasn’t illegal, what a crazy life would it be?
Should I get an Oscar for designing humans best? I am certain if I redesigned humans, life would be so magical, more kind, and honestly? We all deserve it!
