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Ode to the Dodge Charger

This article was published on May 29, 2019 and may be out of date. To maintain our historical record, The Cascade does not update or remove outdated articles.

This is an ode to the wild Dodge Chargers desperately revving their engines around the UFV parking lot at 10 mph, like beefy gazelles caged by a speed limit. Around the parking lot they go: once, twice, three times. Trying to impress the girls waiting for the bus with their neon trim and buddies in the backseat. Vroom vroom, a mating call, as they stop carefully behind the stop line. Making sure to look for pedestrians. It’s safe. Vroom vroom around the block. That girl is hot, maybe she’ll notice the superchargedsixcylinderdualexhausteandHEMIbadging. Oh! Dodge Charger! What keeps you in the parking lot, driving in circles for 20 minutes? Are you waiting for one of your buddies to get out of class? What troubles you so? Oh Charger, what a strange, sad creature you are.

Image: Simer Haer/The Cascade

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Darien Johnsen is a UFV alumni who obtained her Bachelor of Arts degree with double extended minors in Global Development Studies and Sociology in 2020. She started writing for The Cascade in 2018, taking on the role of features editor shortly after. She’s passionate about justice, sustainable development, and education.

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