By Glen Ess (The Cascade) – Email
I am not a fashionista. I am pretty much the opposite of fashionable. I don’t dress up or down — I dress horizontally. If it’s comfortable and I like it, I’ll wear it. But with the weather worsening and the chilly hands of winter reaching out to us, it’s time to bundle up and bunker down in warm clothes.
But, as a member of the fashion-less, the unaware, what do I wear? Well, taken possession by a researching mood, I rooted around online and decided to check out what the only fashion-related publication I can name of the top of my head had to say on the subject. According to Vogue, I should be wearing a combination of black and white checks, diamonds, stripes, and zebra stripes (wait … aren’t those last two the same?) all in a fetching sea-faring naval style with nods of nostalgic recognition to the ‘80s.
Basically, dress like a grey-scale Ronald McDonald.
So clearly I don’t have the capacity to talk style with the big boys of the industry, but what sorts of styles are able to take on the wet winter months without making me look like an insane, unholy combination of Captain Jack Sparrow and Pennywise the dancing clown?
How about we go back to basics and just focus on what’s most important to surviving the coming winter? What are the key, necessary pieces of clothing to staying warm and toasty?
Well a good jacket is a must. Preferably waterproof, warm, and maybe not the puffy sort that make people look like Michelin Man. And shoes are important too — again, they should be sturdy enough to withstand the winter chill and wetness, but also comfortable.
And you can’t go wrong with a pair of jeans; they’re timeless and most importantly, you don’t need to worry about wrinkles and stuff anytime soon. A good sweater or a hoodie can help you stay warm too, and if you’re feeling super fancy-schmancy, a scarf is cool and you can totally use it as a flag in those emergency situations.
Don’t forget to carry around a pair of gloves too, to protect your fingers from Mother Nature’s savage wintry bite. In this day and age, finding a pair of gloves that you can keep on while using your phone will save you the precious two or three seconds it takes to take them off, poke at your phone for whatever reason, and then put the gloves back on.
In terms of accessories, a ski pass tagged onto your jacket, in combination with a toque and ski goggles, will make you look sporty and active. For a more laid-back feel, consider a lumpy holiday-themed sweater. The holidays are the one time you can wear something purposefully ugly and still feel attractive!
But no matter what you wear, remember the most important rule for winter: Stay Warm.
And there you have it folks! Fashion for everyone!
