Date Posted: July 18, 2011
Print Edition: July 8, 2011
By Sasha Moedt (The Cascade) – Email
The weather has finally realized the date on the calendar and has allowed some rays of sun to reach us. At long last, beach season is here! As we make our way to the lake or seaside, we should bear in mind some beach etiquette.
The beach is a grand place to unwind and fool around, but if you’ve got people hanging off your back because you’re being careless concerning basic protocol, it’s a bit of a downer. Of course there are the fundamental social rules, yet we tend to forget the subtle stuff. So here are some reminders of less-than-obvious etiquette.
When you first set up, make sure you’re a decent distance away from your neighbour. If it is crowded, I suggest eyeing up your neighbour. If you just want to silently bask with your sweetheart, set up beside small, tamer groups – and avoid the children! They stare at couples, and it’s unnerving. If you’re with your wild friends, find another big group; they’ll be just as loud.
As a rule, anything that leaves your own camp can be a bother to your neighbours. Noise, flung sand, smoke, foam footballs, umbrellas caught in the wind, and eager dogs should be watched.
Music is great on the beach, but you’ve got to turn it on the down-low. You can try earphones, though they are a bit isolating in a group. Keep your music and conversation down and decent. No one expects each other to be quiet on a beach, though. Anyone out in the open air and sun will be bound to be lively and loud, but keep it good-natured and inoffensive.
If you want to start a fire, pay attention to the wind’s direction. Keep it contained. Don’t burn plastic and crap like that – there’ll be a foul smell and black, unpleasant smoke. Bring your own firewood. Hacking at the deadwood and surrounding forest is often prohibited, and you’ll find wet wood causes a smoky, smelly fire.
A major beach faux pas is feeding the shore rats: seagulls, Canadian geese, pigeons, and whatever else might come flapping along for some salted peanuts. Firstly, it’s not really healthy for the animals. Second, we’ve attracted flying things that might have funny diseases that’ll pass onto you. Thirdly, those birds can become quite aggressive; as you feed them, they’ll move on to your neighbours, hovering obnoxiously.
One basic practice that is often forgotten on the beach is this: keep your eyes to yourself. No oogling! Beware! There will be an unusual amount of skin on the beach! If you have a perpetually roving eye, come prepared. Though females tend to instinctively know when they are being watched, gentlemen, dark glasses will always keep an element of mystery about. A wide brim hat also does the trick. Just make sure you move your eyes, not your head! But it is basic good behaviour not to stare – a glance, then eyes back on the surf.
When you do decide to go for a swim, avoid shrieking about the temperature. Everybody on the beach will hate you. It is cold; it really is. You are, however, permitted to scream about other things: seaweed, muck, your companion humming the Jaws theme song, etc. Horseplay is great fun. Make sure you don’t hit someone with a football or Frisbee, or jump on them off the dock for god’s sake.
It’s important to watch out for other swimmers who might not be as comfortable in water as yourself. Weaker swimmers will find it intimidating if you’re thrashing around next to them.
The beach is an awesome place to be wild. One shouldn’t have to be completely tame, only to behave good naturedly and considerately. A public beach is a place to have a madcap-fun time. If someone just wants to snooze, they should be prepared to tune it out. Of course beach-goers attempt to find a quiet, peaceful place. Remember, the case should be that if they were there first, they set the scene. If it’s a secluded beach and a calm group, it’s very discourteous to disturb them.
If another group is flinging sand in your direction, smoking something or another, or gawking openly at you, deal with it properly. Here is some learned advice: never begin your request with “listen, buddy.” It sets a very antagonistic tone, which you should avoid, really. People respond to politeness. They also respond to retaliation. On the beach, passive-aggressive techniques are key. Outright hostility is unnecessary – retaliate in understated ways, until someone moves to another spot.
For clean up, leave the beach the way you left it. Take a garbage bag along for your trash. It is really well-advised not to bring any glass bottles. Broken glass, obviously, can ruin someone’s day and bloody up some sand. And be a friend; don’t flick your cigarette butts, spitzs, gum, and pistachio shells everywhere. It doesn’t blend in with the natural environment.
If you had a campfire on the beach, bury it. It is a good idea to dig a pit to start with and light up the kindling in the pit. When you are done, put the fire out with water, and bury the remnants well. If you have a fire by the ocean, light it below tide level – the water cleans it up thoroughly.
If you want to have a good time and let those around have fun too, keep your common sense; if you have none of that stuff, no one blames you. Just listen, buddy, to the complaints of your fellow beach goers and try to maintain everyday courtesy. Now, head out – there might be blue sky somewhere on the horizon! The beaches are calling!
