By Leanna Pankratz (The Cascade) – Email
Print Edition: November 9, 2011
Canadian Conservative senator Nicole Eaton has, as it appears, a deep-seated personal vendetta against the longtime mascot of Canadian spirit and arguable quirkiness, the beaver. Eaton is calling for epically-proportioned change in Canada – the proverbial chucking of our beloved national rodent from prominence in favor of an animal that represents “strength, courage, resourcefulness, and dignity.”
I’m sorry, but what?
I love polar bears as much as the next person. I support the fight for their survival as an endangered species, and am even okay with Coca-Cola turning their iconic red cans white in support of the snow-coloured Northern specimen – a longtime mascot of the soda company. However, I must stick with my guns on this one with a hearty “good grief, Senator Eaton!” Can we cut the beaver some slack, please? She implies, with her hailing of the polar bear’s “strength… [and] resourcefulness” that the beaver possesses none of these traits. Oh, how wrong she is. “The beaver represents tenacity, intelligence and an ability to survive even the harshest climates,” said Glynnis Hood, University of Alberta environmental science professor, and honorary member of the beaver resistance, in an interview with the National Post. Hers is a statement to which I am nodding with utmost vigour. “No animal can change the landscape like the beaver can,” she continued, referring to the little rodent’s extraordinary ability to saw through tree trunks aided by nothing but a pair of oversized incisors. “I think the beaver is probably – by comparative size – stronger than polar bears.” Them’s fightin’ words, my friends. It currently looks as if the beaver is not going down without a struggle.
Senator Eaton, in an October Senate meeting, went on to further and publically emasculate the beaver by reducing it to a “dentally defective rat.” For one thing, is this really what our senators are gabbing about behind the closed wooden doors of Parliament? How much tax money does she propose this little switcheroo will cost? And lastly, what in heavens’ name does this woman have against beavers? This is beginning to seem like some weird Freudian complex that Eaton should probably seek some counselling over. Did a beaver chew down your favourite childhood tree, Senator? I think this issue has more to do with you than the innocent little animal you apparently despise. I propose you find a way to work through it. On another note, this whole issue reeks of capitalist propaganda – mow down the hardy little worker in favor of the big, strong giant of nature. Karl Marx would not be pleased.
Seriously, though. Why change? The beaver is as deeply intertwined with our dear country’s history as maple syrup and lumberjacks, heralded in 1975 by the choice of the furry brown rodent as our mascot of choice. This choice paid homage to the earliest days of Canada, when merchant explorers landed on our shores in search of beaver pelts (then available in the millions) for top hats to be worn by all the high-fashion dandies of the day. This opened up huge trade opportunities for the Native American population and European traders alike, and was one of the building blocks for our economy today.
So why the hate? Polar bears are beautiful animals that deserve our utmost protective efforts, but why can’t Eaton simply donate to say, the Coca Cola polar bear fund, or invest in beaver braces, since she apparently has such a problem with beaver teeth? Or here’s a novel idea, take a few polar-bear friendly proposals down to her buddies at Parliament. Is it really necessary to oust the beaver completely? You tell me, Senator Eaton.
