Have you considered that you might learn the most from a perceived enemy? Or that you may have more in common psychologically with the conspiracy theorist than you’d want to admit? Or that your most valuable lessons could come from the people who seem to hate you? Online political discourse can feel loud, chaotic, and volatile to say the least, and it inevitably seeps into real-world politics, making it harder for us to really hear one another. Research has shown that ideologically, we often have more in common with each other than we think, so there is a strong base for us to shift our culture back toward respectful conversation, and that conversation toward change.
These resources have helped me approach political conversations with a more open, clearer mind, and maybe they can help you out too.
Political Blind Date (2017-)
This TVO series isn’t about politicians trying to win debates. It’s about public servants learning from each other. Political Blind Date pairs two politicians on opposing sides of an issue in Canadian politics and brings them together for a series of “dates.” Each one takes the other into their world, explaining and showcasing their perspective. They finish with a last date to reflect on what they learned from the experience.
What I like about this show is how personal it gets with the politicians — you get to see them as the humans they are. You also get a look at various parts of the government; politicians from municipal, provincial, and federal levels of government are featured on this show. Participants rarely walk away with completely new opinions, but they do leave with a deeper understanding of the issue than they had before — and often with an unexpected new friend.
How Minds Change by David McRaney
This isn’t a book about politics — it’s a book about psychology. It explores how our worldviews are formed and the way they shape our perspectives on different issues. This book asks why it is so hard for people to change their minds. What I have seen within political conversation is confusion and frustration with the “other side,” as they always seem stuck in their ways, or are manipulating the truth to see what they want; this book outlines how every side is prone to this, as this is what our brains instinctively do to keep us feeling safe and secure.
If you want to understand both yourself and the conspiracy theorist more, reading this might just do the trick.
Conversations with People Who Hate Me with Dylan Marron
Marron isn’t a stranger to online hate. After years of being outspoken about politics he’s received more hostile comments than he can count. Rather than ignoring them, in his podcast he reaches out to the people behind the comments and starts a conversation. In these exchanges, he explores what lies behind our beliefs and how we interact differently with each other online versus in person, even over a phone call. Since the pod started, he expanded from talking with just those who have left him hate comments, to connecting others who have clashed with each other online. Despite “hate” being in the title, these conversations often bring understanding and can be very compelling. Marron also wrote a book by the same title as the podcast, which chronicled his experiences and lessons learned from recording it.
Through my exploration of these resources, I found some common themes. Those having tough discussions cared about what they were talking about; they cared as equally as their so-called “opponents” about the topic of discussion. They also usually had more in common than they thought, and by identifying their commonalities, they were able to move forward and discover what solutions they could both pursue instead of continuing to fight back and forth. Progress wasn’t made when they were fighting, nor when they were debating and trying to “win.” Progress happened when they could look at each other and listen; it happened when they both said, “Maybe my understanding is incomplete.” Perhaps if we want to see change in 2026, we need to seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and each other.
