Life is tough and confusing and weird. We all need help sometimes, and when you need an expert opinion, you turn to an expert opinion-giver like Robin Halper. Whatever problem you’re facing in life, Robin will have a solution. The Cascade cannot guarantee the effectiveness of Robin’s unique approach to life, but if you’re in a jam, get some advice by writing to halp@ufvcascade.ca
Roommate ruckus
Dear Robin,
My roommate is generally a really cool guy, but he keeps watching anime on our TV at full volume in the middle of the night. I haven’t slept in four days, but every time I ask him to stop he acts like it’s no big deal. What can I do?
Sincerely,
Miffed in Mission
Hi Miffed,
Your roommate clearly feels an intense shame about his love of anime, and feels a need to symbolically hide it from the world by only engaging with it at night. Perhaps he was once shunned for this hobby. It’s not cool to shun people, but sleep is literally my favourite thing in the world and I hate that you aren’t getting enough. Your best bet will be to challenge him to a duel, with the loser forced to move out. Standard dueling rules will give him the choice of weapon, however, so be prepared for this duel to take the form of anime trivia. Best start studying.
– Robin
Party people
Dear Robin,
I’m a first-year student at UFV, and so far my university experience hasn’t been everything I hoped it would be. Where are the wild parties I see in the movies? Where are the pranks and cool cliques? Nobody has ever chanted “chug” at me and I want to experience that before I die.
Thanks,
Underwhelmed in Abbotsford
Yo Underwhelmed,
UFV’s not known as a party place, but they’re there if you know where to look. I don’t think you’ve tried hard enough, to be honest. Next time you see a crowd of people, try putting on your biggest smile and sliding into the group. They may not even notice you’ve included yourself, and if you follow them for long enough, they’re bound to have a party. Some students have also had success integrating with the wider Abbotsford community, but to be honest, people who are proper adults in the real world are terrifying so I’d say pass on that one. The last option is to remember, as a wise soul once told me, that the true party is within yourself, and that only by harnessing that can you truly achieve the state of mind you’re clearly looking for.
– Robin
