By Christopher DeMarcus (The Cascade) – Email
Print Edition: January 8, 2014
Many people only think about the government during tax time, but this year has been a roller-coaster ride for provincial and federal governments in Canada.
At the top of the list is Rob Ford, who has been the butt of every political joke, complaint, and talk show. All the chatter about The Ford and his Nation, which is now campaigning on the slogan “Ford more years,” has made my social life easier at parties. Finally, there is something for me to talk about besides Stephen Harper’s haircut.
For that, my dear Ford, we political watchers thank you.
However, there is another side to all this silliness. Journalists are getting tired of writing for The Ford’s hype machine. The jokes about his crack, like the Ford himself, are losing traction.
The other big issue in 2013 was—and still is— the Senate scandal and the even bigger question: should we have a senate at all? Harper, also known as the “cool robot,” has had a big problem with his party full of thieves and hot-heads. Instead of firing the pigs that have been stealing our money, Harper tried to cover up the mess with a couple of transfers from his office. Our PM should have taken the chance to clean up, not cover up.
In BC, Christy Clark punched her way into winning an election after asking us to wear pink shirts to protest the evils of bullying. The key lesson to be learned from the election: polls can be wrong, and never underestimate the power of a bully wearing pink.
In contrast to the limp-wristed NDP campaign, Clark and her Liberals went for the voter’s jugular with a clear message: “If you don’t vote for us, the economy will fail. Everything will be expensive.” Despite how highly we think of ourselves as a province, that puts rationality over money, as most of us are afraid of losing our jobs.
I thought that by 2014 we were supposed to have flying cars and play cards for a living, but it seems that’s only the deal for one per cent of us. In the spirit of keeping the wealth going to the top, the icy blue Tories penned a monumental trade deal with the European Union. Finally, cheaper champagne and cheese for the rich.
You can always win votes with cheese. Thanks to new cross-border shopping rules between the US and Canada, shoppers can bring back loads of cheddar. Now would be a good time to start a blog about how to buy and store massive amounts of cheese from the Bellingham Costco. And don’t forget the milk and gas cans.
While the border traffic stacked up for cheaper gasoline, the BC Liberals pushed for more fracking and the addition of a couple pipelines. We protested in our typical theatrical fashion, but we know that sooner or later more pipelines are coming. Sadly, I fear that we will have to rely on the fortitude and vigour of our First Nations brothers and sisters to stop them. When the bulldozers come it will be the aboriginal people on the frontline.
Comedian Rick Mercer has said that Stephen Harper will resign in 2014. My predictions are far more pessimistic. There aren’t enough citizens who want Harper to go. We talk hardball about our morality and our environmentalism, but deep down we are terrified of the one thing that will set us free: a symbiotic relationship with nature.
We demand economic growth and Harper is the man to give it to us. And he will, at any cost.
