Dear Editor,
I think it is fantastic that The Cascade will sneak in the occasional practical joke but I must express my concern that the gag presented in last week’s issue went too far. LUCY IS NOT A GOOD MOVIE YOU GUYS! This is Cloud Atlas all over again and while I could forgive that instance of a bad movie being on the list this is just too far.
I know you all probably had a good laugh when you wrote down the absurd statement that Lucy is the seventh best movie of 2014 but what you failed to realize is that some people might take you seriously and actually watch Lucy. It’s all fun and games until someone gets their eyes burned out from watching Lucy. Trust me, this is not a guilt you want to carry. I once tricked someone into seeing Transformers 2 and it has weighed on me ever since. Just imagine some poor unfortunate soul putting on Lucy, expecting a good time but then they get to the dolphins and the breast milk and the flash drive and oh my god the flash drive!
But I digress. Please, while there is still time, release a retraction and public apology to save anymore naïve film goers from what can only be described as a glimpse into the mad never-ending world of Luc Besson’s nightmares.
Sincerely,
Zack Soderstrom
P.S. Still better than Limitless.
