By James Inglis (Contributor) – Email
Print Edition: November 30, 2011
Our American cousins (with apologies to Mrs. Lincoln) have recently celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday. President Obama pardoned the turkeys’ liberty and peace while other Americans consumed an estimated 45 million of the lucky turkeys’ brethren and cistern. In schools across the United States, children are taught the story of the first Thanksgiving where the pilgrims and the native Wampanoag shared a feast of venison, duck and oodles of other stuff the Wampanoag brought as even then the white man rarely gave anything to native Americans (not counting those questionable blankets of course). No one had reason to complain, as there was food in abundance. Well apart from master John Uppity who complained about the lack of mashed potatoes, but there was little that could be done, as mashed potatoes had yet to be invented. What is not taught to the school children is the other story, the darker side of the past no one likes to talk about. It is a topic that even the official chroniclers of all American history, the Walt Disney Company, will not discuss. It is the event that many say was the origin of the distrust between Native Americans and newcomers that exists even to this day.
The revellers having gorged themselves and watching a game or two of Blind Man’s Bluff (for the record there was no malice intended by the Wampanoag during the first game. The confusion was caused by poor translation and Thomas Hudson functioned perfectly well for the rest of his life with only the one eye). As continues to be the tradition to this day the men left the women to clean up as they discussed the poor calls by the referees. Following established custom, when night fell the pilgrims and the Wampanoag headed over to the Ye Olde Wal-Marte Trading Post, purveyor of coloured bobbles, trinkets and other shiny stuff to line up for the next day’s unbelievable sale prices. Everything was going smoothly until captain Miles Standish cut in line in front of chief Massasoit which resulted in much pushing and shoving, planted the seed for the great Pequot Indian war and provided the blueprint for future Black Fridays.
In the 21st century, Black Friday has evolved. No more do people waste time giving thanks or having to make a feast. Today, a day or so before Thanksgiving the masses in the spirit of the Pilgrims and Wampanoag leave their homes and line up for the unbelievable sale prices. Is there a better way to reflect on the year’s good fortune than by standing in line for days to ensure the acquisition of that $2 waffle iron? I think not. Apparently many are in agreement with me. In New York City, NBC News reported that 10,000 people were lined up in front of Macy’s department store waiting for the midnight opening.
It’s not that the Thanksgiving spirit has been forgotten. Take the example of one grandfather who took his grandson to a Wal-Mart to get a great deal on video games. Fox news reports that in the frenzy that followed the rush to get to the video games, Grandpa was thrown to the floor and handcuffed by the local police. The grandson was trampled in the melee and ended up with a split lip. Grandpa faces charges of resisting arrest and shoplifting.
Be assured that it is not only Wal-Mart that has great deals. CBS News reports that Victoria’s Secret was having a great sale on yoga pants. Yoga as you recall is a “physical, mental and spiritual discipline leading to the attainment of perfect spiritual insight and tranquility.” CBS reported women were fighting over the yoga pants. They were pushing and shoving and “girls were punching each other”.
The Post-Standard of Syracuse reports that in a local Wal-Mart a fight broke out at the cell phone display and two women received back injuries. One man has been charged with disorderly conduct and others are also awaiting charges.
When lining up to get the best deal it is always best to have a plan that will give you the best chance of obtaining the prize. As the Boy Scouts say, “be prepared”. A woman at a Los Angeles Wal-Mart (is it just me or is there a pattern here?) came prepared to make sure she got the deal on the Xbox 360. BBC News reports she made a trail through the line up by shooting other shoppers with pepper spray. The woman paid for her purchase and left the store before police arrived. More than 20 people required medical attention.
At one Wal-Mart, 2000 people were lined up outside chanting, “Push the doors in.” Throughout the country people jumped barricades, pushed through their fellow man and fought for the prize of that 60 inch flat screen TV. The BBC estimated that half the U.S. population shops the deals during the three days following Thanksgiving. Canadians shouldn’t be jealous about the deals, because the Black Friday movement is beginning to make inroads with retailers here too. Boy, those pilgrims have a lot to answer for. I can’t wait for the Christmas sales to start.
