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Snapshot: Hipsters make my fists hurt

Hipsters. Those craft beer drinking, mustache wearing, local-obsessed know-it-alls are so damn annoying. When will this trend be over? I’m so tired of feeling judged when I just want to enjoy my Starbucks and eat a hamburger in peace.

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Hipsters. Those craft beer drinking, mustache wearing, local-obsessed know-it-alls are so damn annoying. When will this trend be over? I’m so tired of feeling judged when I just want to enjoy my Starbucks and eat a hamburger in peace. “Starbucks doesn’t recycle,” they say. Boo-hoo. Beef is worse for the environment than the transportation industry, causes cancer, destroys the Amazon, is full of steroids, and perpetuates animal cruelty? Tastes delicious. My heart aches with hatred when those hipsters ride their bicycles past my car while I’m sitting in traffic, dressed second-hand, unshaven, bulbous helmet strapped to their stupid head while they practically salute their hand-signals; so smug. When will we go back to the happy days, when everything was so simple and I didn’t have to pretend to give a rip when someone decides to “educate” me about the “true cost” of my clothes. We’re giving jobs to those garment workers in Bangladesh aren’t we!? And the longshoremen who load up the tankers to transport everything across the ocean, and the miners who get the coal to run the factories, and the oil rig workers who get fuel for the ships, not to mention the businessmen who worked hard to create such a successful international clothing company; they all need to make a living! Small, local businesses are just jealous. Everything has to be researched, scrutinized, and explained with these people. Hipsters are pretentious. I can’t wait until the fad is over so I can just enjoy my life again.

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