Print Edition: September 11, 2013
Updates!
Occasionally, my computer needs updates. In my case, the process of installing them seems to take forever, and I can’t use the computer during that time. So I put off updates as long as possible in the hope that they will go away.
“Postpone 24 hours.” “Remind me again later.” For days at a time, I tell the laptop to wait just a little longer, to put off these mysterious updates which it apparently needs in order to function.
But I never remember I’ve done this until I actually need to use the computer. And then, I don’t want to wait 30 to 60 minutes. So I postpone the updates again.
Then one day, I open the computer and log in, only to have it shut itself down curtly and – I imagine – with exasperation.
However, I’m the one who should be exasperated; if the computer is so advanced, why is this hassle even an issue?
E-books!
The e-book is the most foul and obnoxious product of technology since the Tamagotchi. It’s not a book. It’s a picture of a book!
Books don’t need an upgrade. They’re supposed to be heavy and take up space. The ancient Egyptians built giant monuments to write important stuff down, so it didn’t get lost in a sea of databases and online marketing algorithms.
Tablets and their smart phone siblings are the harbingers of information glut. Instant access to everything published sounds like a good idea, but now my eyes hurt from squinting.
E-books might be easier to carry, but that doesn’t make them better to read. The analog book and the good ol’ bookcase works better. I can browse ideas and get to them faster. Reading an e-book feels like I have gloves on. Text takes twice as long to mark with a fumbling virtual highlighter. And no, it isn’t my fat luddite hands. I’m a good enough technologist to know when a piece of bad technology is dressed up like a good one.
E-glasses!
We are in an age where science fiction is meeting reality. Some time ago, the Google-Glass was put into beta-testing, and now a competitor has risen. Meta Glasses, based on augmented reality, allowing users to manipulate applications with their hands, will be released next year.
Frankly, I’m excited for these products. Virtual reality and face-computers are definitely the way of the future. While the technology is still quite new, making me err on the side of caution, fearing early bugs, I see this technology as something will allow for further (and better) generations. At that point I can get all the best features and apps in a field less crowded by competition.
In the end, I sit in anticipation of what the future may hold, and look forward to wearing a big silver visor like Doc Brown in Back to the Future II.
Thief!
Okay ladies and gents, the first week of classes are over and I sure hope you like that seat you’ve picked. Few things rattle me more than when I am rushing to make it to class on time, stumbling into the classroom, and am stopped in my tracks at the sight of someone else in “my” seat. Yes, I realize I do not actually own this particular space but I find it comforting to know where I will be sitting before I arrive, and beside whom I will sit in each class.
Now, if you’re thinking, “Wow, this girl is crazy, and controlling,” you’re right, but it is actually beneficial to everyone to have a permanent seat. If you take a test in the same situation and atmosphere that you learned the information, you will have an easier time recalling the answers. So really, I am looking out for your excellence in academic achievement as well as addressing my own concerns.
So please park your body in either the spot you sat in on the first day, or take your chance with someone else’s spot. Just don’t take mine.
