By Ali Siemens (Staff Writer) – Email
1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thum-…wait, a toe war? Toe wrestling, different from thumb wrestling, but similar to arm wrestling, is an official sport in the United Kingdom. Although unusual and relatively unheard of, toe wrestling has been around since 1976, starting in Wetton, Derbyshire. Patrons of ‘Ye Olde Royal Oak Inn’ decided to hold a toe wresting competition the same year, and ever since, the world championships have been occurring annually.
The rules of toe wrestling are easy to understand, and the equipment necessary for the sport to take place are cheap if a contestant has not had their toes amputated. Courtesy of the World Toe Wrestling Organization, the rules are clearly written and easy to understand.
A match is played by two contestants, either two men or two women – no mixed matches allowed. The opponents must sit across from each other on a platform known as a “toedium” during the toe ceremony. The opponents must remove their socks and shoes, and have their feet inspected for any funny business, such as hidden daggers or fungus between their webbed-weapons. After inspection, the players interlock their right feet, preparing for the toe tussle. When the players are ready to start the match, the referee yells, “toes away,” beginning the phalange feud.
The object of the battle is to try and force the side of their opponents foot to the floor, respectively referred to as a, “toe down,” comparable to the object of arm wrestling. Just like regular wrestling, toe wrestling has an option of “tapping out” if the pain becomes unbearable. Instead of using your fingers to tap against the mat, the player must shout, “toe much,” and the referee will stop the match.
The matches are played as a best-of-three legs, but if another round is needed to decide who the toe champion is, a decider is used. During the matches, players have to keep their non-wrestling foot off the ground at all times, making balancing difficult. Also, players must keep both palms of their hands flat to the mat, and their bums on the floor: no lifting, bouncing, or farting.
Attempts were made to have the new found sport accepted into the Olympics; however, it was turned down. One cannot say whether it’s because the sport itself is laughable, or if it’s because they allow players to be drunk while participating.
The 2010 Toe Wrestling Championships proved to be just as competitive as the years prior. Alan ‘Nasty’ Nash won the Championship again in 2010, and has been deemed a three-time World Toe Wrestling Champion. In 1997, His Majesty King Leo I of Redonda, in the West Indies, presented the champion with a new name; he was knighted “Sir Alan Nasty Nash” for all of his accomplishments in the Toe Wrestling world. Two-time winner, female participant Twinkle Toes Lisa may be on her way to her own ‘knighting’ if she keeps up the hard work.
Toe Wrestling is a competitive sport that leaves room to make an ass of yourself. If you have a “toedium” and alcohol, you could be the next neighbourhood champion.
