By Jeremy Hannaford (Contributor) – Email
Print Edition: July 3, 2013
The Tough Mudder is an 18 kilometre obstacle course of pure pain and … enjoyment?
Held annually in Whistler since its inception a few years ago, Tough Mudder has become a worldwide event. From the United States to Australia, the Tough Mudder challenges its participants to push their endurance, their strength and their pain thresholds. Having done nothing rigorous besides the Vancouver Sun Run for the past several years, I admit I was intimidated by the event. As I lay on my motel bed in Squamish the night before, I kept thinking to myself, “What are you doing? This is insane!” I felt the same fear as I drove up to the Whistler starting area. But after we got our bibs on and squared away our gear, my fear transformed into anticipation.
Seeing the energy in the other participants helped relieve my tension. I saw several runners in costumes ranging from Luigi to Batman to Clark Kent, sports jacket and all! It also helped that I was part of a great team. Composed of several newbies like myself, we were graced to have Tough Mudder / Spartan Race veteran John and World’s Toughest Mudder Mathew leading the pack–or as we were officially called, the Ass Bad Mother Lovers! As we walked to the starting area, I no longer felt my fear; instead, I was overcome with excitement. I wanted to see what my body could take, what it could endure!
One thing that people are mistaken about the Tough Mudder is that the obstacles are the most challenging part. In fact, the running is the worst (that is, if you run the majority of it) To be honest, I wished there were more obstacles. My endurance is decent enough but after my first taste, all I wanted was more. After crawling through mud under barbed wire, our team was subjected to the Arctic Enema. Leaping into freezing cold water constantly being refilled with massive ice cubes was definitely a new experience for me. As I felt hypothermia settle in quite quickly, I was amazed at how my body reacted to the cold and how I felt it slowing down. I then really wanted the woman in front of me to get out of the water!
For the next nine kilometres, we climbed over and under wooden logs, piggy-backed our teammates, crawled through snow-dug tunnels, and leaped over fire. We then went through “Mud Mile” which consisted of climbing out of and back into chest high mud. Despite my initial doubts, my endurance levels were staying strong. Even after slamming my ribs on the giant wooden “Ladder to Hell,” I was still in good shape. But then the longest single section of running followed and I was begging for another obstacle. After we finally arrived at an aid station, I took off my shoe to try removing the stones and mud in it. I then fought against the muck and wet friction for nearly 10 minutes to try to put it back on. Once I got it on, we faced the “Electric Eel.” The obstacle requires you to crawl on a wet tarp underneath live wires that can hold up to 10,000 volts of shock value. This was the first truly difficult obstacle as I was shocked three times across my body! Then the hiccups started.
As we tried to walk/climb up the steep face wall along the Whistler Ski Ramps, my hiccups encumbered me and caused embarrassment. I felt that the next seven kilometres were going to be very grueling. After we climbed the face, we went through the “Bush Whacking” scenario where we climbed through and around a woodland ravine full of mud pits. It was at this moment I came to the conclusion that the Tough Mudder track constructors had a wicked sense of humour. First you would be covered with mud, then cleansed completely only to be covered in mud again. After we had climbed out of the brush, our group took a breather to wait for other members to catch up. It was at this moment that I concentrated with all my might to rid myself of the hiccups. After probably looking very similar to a praying hermit, I was rid of my hiccups and our team was ready to roll again.
Fatigue was beginning to set in, but I pushed on. At this moment, my team captain John told us to “jog it out.” As he led the way, he grazed his hand over the 13 kilometre sign. I had noticed this ritual since the beginning of the race and it was interesting to watch. For it seemed our leader saw each kilometre as another challenge passed, another goal accomplished. He left his handprint on another conquered vista and marched on to the next. Perhaps I was viewing it more deeply than he saw it but it inspired me to push on. We carried wooden logs over a small distance, jumped off a 20-foot structure into cold water below and crawled through tunnels with water up to our eyes.
When we came across the monkey bars (or the “Funky Monkey” obstacle), I was ready to give it my all. My upper body strength isn’t the best when it comes to chin ups so imagine my surprise when I actually made it across the obstacle! But before I could rest my sore shoulders, we came to the “Everest” obstacle – a huge half-pipe ramp covered in mud and water and sweat. With all my speed remaining, I ran up the pipe and grabbed hold of the wooden beam atop. I held on as I was slowly lifted up by other participants. After we had stood atop the structure, a few of us, our team captain especially, stayed to help others up the ramp. Despite the wear and tear on our biceps, John pushed us to stay and help others up. After nearly 10 minutes we finally moved on to the last two obstacles.
After slowly getting over the two “Berlin Walls,” we came to the final obstacle. “Electro Shock Therapy” is the obstacle in which we had to pass through live wires! We wasted no time as we linked arms and charged on through. I felt one wire touch my skull and as accurately as I can describe it, it felt like a baseball had collided with my head and than exploded on impact. Despite it being incredibly painful, we kept going. Then it was over! We had conquered the Mudder! We were donned with our coveted headbands and then enjoyed a nice cool beer! In the end, my ribs were slightly bruised but it was small compared to my other teammates’ injuries. One of us had suffered a spastic cramp in his thigh, while others had cut and deeply bruised their legs and shins. But we all smiled through the pain. Nothing could dampen our spirits.
As I headed home along Highway 1 all bruised and sore, I was going over the accomplishments of the day in my head. My exhaustion didn’t overshadow my joy. Together with a great team, we had accomplished an amazing task. We had pushed ourselves through despite the injuries suffered. I was so tired and lost in thought that I almost didn’t notice the cheering coming from the car alongside me. I looked and saw a car full of Mudder participants cheering at me. I realized they had seen the headband around my neck. As I returned their display of graduations, a very clear thought came over me. I’m totally doing this again next year!
Special thanks to the members of the Ass Bad Mother Lovers: Bryan Andrew, Andrew Hale, Matthew Hidasi, John Gammater, Marcus Tatum, Jonathan Webber and Alex Wong.
